|Reviews for Dead Walking|
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
yo dude original content game stressful
| SimonClemens chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
Groaned...in a painful tone? I'll agree it's a nice intro, but this has some awkward phrasing to it. Were you trying to rhyme? No? I'd suggest rephrasing that to "He groaned in pain" because the act doesn't need to be flowered up, it's so simple.
"Our male protagonist." I kind of figured that. And that little note? It's annoyingly fourth-wall breaking. Have you never read of a story that has better handled amnesia? You can have him only remember his name; it'll be JUST as mysterious. Hell, he should have a wrist band with his name on it if he's been in there for a while! Is he John Doe to the hospital, too? I'm willing to assume all that plot hole is plugged right up by "ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE" so whatever.
Also, an amnesiac in a place containing/infested with zombies? This plot is basically the Resident Evil movie, minus the female lead. It's not really a good comparison.
If the next chapter has him bumping into mercenaries and shooting at mutating zombies, you may as well be standing in court already. :P
Even that I wouldn't mind; if it was handled better than the movie. ANYTHING but the movie. *shudder*
| harrisonmarks chapter 1 . 2/18/2013