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Complex Variable chapter 3 . 9/16/2013
*Activates Bachelor's-Degree-in-Mathematics Powers*

[The introduction of variables greatly attracted the Russian] - - - "Russians". Also, the subject of measure theory was really first started by Lebesgue, a frenchman. You might be able to do something with that. ;D

You could insert something about how the universality of the central limit theorem makes other mathematical theorems jealous. (And this is actually sort of true!)

[Gauss's Law: No, no, you go away. We no like you.] - - - Actually, this would be funnier if you wrote "Gauss's Law: Wait a minute, what are YOU doing here?! Get back to electromagnetism, dammit!" xD

Given that you've got this nice gag going with the speak-like-a-foreigner inclusions of unnecessary "the"s in places (ex. "The calculation of the conditional probability") you might want to type up those sections usink ein phonology remineeschent auf ein pehrshon shpeaking ein foriegnnen lankquage. Ja? (XD)

[The Third Law: There is no Third Law] - - - I'd make this the "Pi-th Law" xD

I'd recommend including the "Dirichlet Probability Distribution" in your list of probability distributions, as well as maybe a few more comic ones, like "the Betty Distribution", the "Discrete Lobster Distribution," and the "Distributed Distribution". xD

Also, look up "Martingales"—that just seems ripe for satire, at least to me.

How about something on Brownian motion, too? :D? Or the Infinite Improbability Drive from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"? :D?!

Overall, this was wonderfully fun, and actually—it's crazy, I know—somewhat INFORMATIVE. XD (Or, maybe it's because I just already know the information myself. xD)
True Talker chapter 3 . 2/22/2013
If it matters I wouldn't want you attacked (at all) and NOT by Random Variables. Most of this was funny - yes parts of it was. You actually had me laughing. Really. You wrote things that I wasn't expecting.
Complex Variable chapter 2 . 2/21/2013
I'm almost certain that the reason why most of your more recent publications are listed as "General" fictions is because you just click really fast when posting, not bothering to select a category. xD Honestly, you should start sorting your stories' categories more appropriately. This, for instance, should be a "Humor" fiction, possibly with a "Historical" sub-genre; the same should go for the other stuff you write in this vein. It'll help attract more readers, because they'll have a slightly better impression of what to expect.

"pattée" should be in italics, seeing as it's a foreign word.

['oh shit, Second?' *rimshot*] - - - actually, as with WWI, the response was mostly excited cheering. Xo

[from under their beds] - - - why not, "from under their pointy helmets" XD

[ 'catch 'em all craze',] - - - first of, it should be " 'catch 'em all' craze, "; second, I would recommend including "gotta" before "catch". ;)

[Ja, verily zere were so many of zese medals in the end vat we had to come up with veis rap song to memorize them all] - - - xD

[48.10 millimetres wide and 54.12 millimetres high and 28.79 grams in weight] - - - for added effect, I would recommend adding five or six more decimal digits to these. xD E.g.: 48.10983521.

[Prussian Emperor Friedrich Wilhelm] - - - No, "King", not "Emperor"; also, which Prussian F.W—I, II, or III? There are three of them in the 18th century, alone. xD

[18 Carat gold] - - - "18-carat gold".

[Nazis 7,322] / [Not Nazis] - - - since this is "species", it should say "Aryans" and "Non-Aryans". ;)

And, yes, I'm reviewing Chapter 2 BEFORE Chapter 1. :3

CV
J.Kuzzey chapter 2 . 2/21/2013
"(English translation, courtesy of Bing)" - Laughed harder than expected for a good couple of minutes.

"Detractors at the time, mostly fucking hipsters, criticized The Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross for being 'only a fad', to which Hitler replied by promptly having them shot." Pure gold.

Oh, god, that rap! Hilarious.

"also known as Liam Neeson's life when we follow him around with a camera after his daughter gets kidnapped." LMFAO

"in the buttonhole..." (I totally misread that as butthole the first time, so I had to reread it several more times haha!)

'It was to be awarded only for "soldierly merit before the enemy", the second highest Prussian honor after a three-way tie between "surrendering to the enemy", "being treasonous before the enemy" and "shooting yourself in the head at first sight of the enemy".' - Haha! Gonna be laughing about this tomorrow

"Oh. My. God. Girl, are those diamonds?! DIAMONDS?! Real diamonds?! Did he go to Jared's? Girl, you don't know how lucky you are. This guy's a keeper. Uh-huh. Nu-uh, girl I mean it." Most excellent.

Oh, man. This is just killer. I can't point out every line that at LEAST had me giggle a little, because that would be the entire thing. I seriously wish I was still in school so I could use this as a reference on a paper. This is genius. Ahh perfect thing to read at the end of the day!
J.Kuzzey chapter 1 . 2/19/2013
.Gawd. I have no idea what I just read. I'm pretty sure I missed half of it because I was laughing so hard. Not even lying, yo. You're a comedic genius. I just finished working a sixteen hour day, saw this, read it, and my entire day as been made. You are my hero right now. I must have a really messed up sense of humor lol