|Reviews for The Engelhardt Encounters|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/20/2014
Keep in mind I only had a chance to read the first chapter; though overall, it reads well and in general carries good focus. My only critique is that I felt it was a bit over saturated with detail, it gave my imagination barely any room to move. Inform your reader but don't spell it out completely for them.
| Rita Komeddi chapter 15 . 6/16/2014
You did a brilliant job on this. You addressed many of the mistakes Natalya made. Natalya seemed to be quite sloppy and impulsive for a spy, but at least you kept her character consistent. And you wrapped up everything nicely in the end. Now, I'm not the best at remembering small details, so if there happened to be some sort of logical mistake in your plot somewhere, I probably wouldn't have seen it, but I think you did fine.
I anticipated that there would be some sort of romantic relationship between Ludwig and Natalya later on in the story, and I'm not exactly a fan of romance, but I didn't really mind it in this particular story. I mean, Natalya could definitely hold her own, and she was an admirably strong female character, which I appreciate. Seeing as she works for a government agency, it would have seemed ridiculous if she had played the princess in distress.
You did a good job on giving Ludwig a mysterious background, too. I could see why Natalya would be so curious about who he really was. I think you also did really well on making it obvious that he hated his job as an assassin. This was good character development for him. He hated it, and you made that clear to your readers. Honestly, considering his character, it wouldn't have been right if he'd enjoyed being an assassin.
Also, when I came across the scene where Ludwig fights R. A. in the underground fighting arena (I can only remember his initials, sorry; I have a poor memory for character names), I instantly matched it up with what occurs in your one-shot "Rage", and I swear, I grinned. It's nice to see how nicely your one-shot fit into this novel. I loved how consistent you were with what happens.
Another thing that impressed me was your dialogue. I saw you had two other reviews on this story, so I checked them out. Both mention that you weren't punctuating your dialogue properly. But I didn't catch a single mistake. I'm really impressed that you would actually go back and edit everything, because you don't see that often.
Most writers use critique like that for "future reference", or so they say, but I like how dedicated you were to this story. And I'm glad you fixed the mistakes, because you have excellent dialogue. You can feel the emotion of the characters, and the dialogue is never pointless or boring. This goes for your narrative as well.
I simply loved this story. It was engaging, intriguing, and well-written. I couldn't have done better myself (though that's not saying much). I literally could not stop reading this until I read "Ende." I'm definitely popping "The Engelhardt Encounters" into my favorite stories. Such a pity this isn't getting more attention.
Write a sequel or something! I really want to see more of Natalya and Ludwig (though I'm aware you really can't possibly write another novel about them—at least do so and make it interesting). But hey, I guess this was my one bite of literary paradise, and now it's over. At least I'll get to indulge on those little one-shot chocolates you seem to have scattered all over your profile. :D Yum yum.
| lifeisabook chapter 6 . 3/29/2013
Thank goodness this is not the end! Keep going, girl! This is great! Please check up on your dialogue though- it bugs me a little bit. Great work!
| lifeisabook chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
This is terrific! The storyline seems great, and you've got good characters that seem set up for some good developement. Your word choice is pretty impressive, too. I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors that interfered with comprehension, though you definitely want to take a look at dialogue rules:
"This is great work," I said to myself. "If only she put commas after her quotes instead of periods!" Other than that, great job! :)