|Reviews for Different, But Also the Same|
| cypress16 chapter 2 . 3/10/2013
I like where you're taking the story. It's a unique approach to the genre. I've seen very few gender change story lines. One of the reasons I choose to use it in my story.
The grammar nazi in me didn't see anything this time. Good job.
The only minor point was the conversation at the end. I found it just a little difficult to follow, first pass through. I know it's tough to write fanatic, confused, emotional conversation among people clearly. As a writer you know what you want each character to say and emotionally feel, but it can be a challenge to portray.
The only other comment is just my personal preferences. Try to keep the characters actions and reactions within some range of 'normal' for the situation they find themselves. Again, it is just my own preference in sci fi. So far you've done well with it.
Finally, it's your story, your idea, your preference, and your decision.
| Star of Roselight chapter 1 . 3/9/2013
So, I'm on FictionPress. Cool.
Anywho, checked out this story. I loved it for all of the sarcastic humor and how similar it could be to real life, if, you know, no Gender-Swapping thing.
Just for the record, your stories are awesome. :)
| cypress16 chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
Interesting concept. Different for the usual wild alien worlds or people with superpowers running around.
The basic s... looks good. A few spelling/word use problems, plus a few grammar nazi type issues:
*you shouldn't use all caps ... the word and context should do it for you. I did it too when I first started writing.
*exclamation points should only be used in dialog/conversation. Again, I have to watch it myself.
*as the first reviewer implied, the middle paragraph is a bit long...
*a good thing, in conversation you have a new paragraph when the speakers change.
You do have a 'stream of consciousness' type of writing style going here, which is fine, I tend to write that way at times.
So, just comments, do with them as you wish.
You've done well for fifteen. I hope you continue, I'd like to see where you take the story line.
| Illemagnus chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
Interesting. I think that I liked this story because it reminds me a bit of myself in ninth grade. The writing seems to come from the river of your consciousness. I like that kind of style, it is interesting. Also, apparently some people find large sections of un-paragraphed text disconcerting and harmful to their sanity. End of comment.