Reviews for Elemental Warriors: Volume One
SanjiandSerea chapter 1 . 10/18
A nice chapter. The plot seems interesting and puts me in the mind of one of the first anime I watched when I was young. Inuyasha. I wonder who the half-breed girl is and what her relevance is to the plot. Over-all a good read. No grammar mistakes from where I'm standing.

So good job!
Y. S. Wong chapter 26 . 7/29
Sacchan is definitely sniffing dat yuri dust. (*w*)

"He remains her of someone special..." *Reminds.

Ew. Torphelia is gross.

Takeshi's a tool. *WONGRAGE*

Watch it with the pronouns, etc. Though I'm not as anal about it as Boomer Kid the Master of Heads, when you combine the pronoun usage with your liberal use of head hopping, it makes it extremely difficult to follow your narration.

On the other hand, it seems like your descriptive skills leveled up this chapter. Congratulations. (*w*)
Y. S. Wong chapter 25 . 7/19
Hmm, I felt like the overall pacing and transitions out of scenes in this chapter were a little bit rough.

Takeshi's a tool. *Wongrages*

And "P-p-please don't hurt him" Ophelia?! Pls, grow a pair and inuslap that dumbass! Don't be the weak female character whose emotions get the best of her.

You're getting addicted to those cliffies, huh?

R/N: Is the answer that Toru and Mammy-chan both have gone spelunking with Kana?
Y. S. Wong chapter 24 . 7/17
Toru's getting jealous of Mammy-chan. (*w*)

LOL. Toru saved by BL.

Oho, cliffy(tilde) Liked the pacing this chapter. Interesting developments with Seito, and I'm really beginning to like Mammy-chan's character.

Poor Kana though. Had the essence drained out of him. Now he'll never be able to get married.
Pinksamurai1014 chapter 36 . 6/15
as emperor in another... nah, I can't picture Him as amate ruler instead of her...well can't wait till more comes :)
Pinksamurai1014 chapter 35 . 6/13
lol really.. ha.. sure seems like Ophelia like him back.
Daniel Kozaki chapter 34 . 2/25
Finally caught up!
'"Yuri said that Toru had the stamina of a raging bull."' - uh...
It would be much more interesting if Ryuji won, I think.
Takeshi's replacement huh.
All those foreshadowing, huh... I'll keep my guesses in mind...
Suddenly, Senpai.

Editor's nitpicks:
1. '...ready to finally redeem himself after his upsetting lose against Ophelia.' - [loss]
2. '...feeling is confidence renew.' - [his]
3. '...finding her friend kneeled on the ground...' - [kneeling]
4. 'It took all of Sarohi's power...' - [Sahori]
5. '...the wing rustling the trees making the only sound.' - [wind]
6. '"I will literally rip your heart at shove it down your buddy's throat." - [and]
7. '"Should I notify his alpha the we need his… uh... assistance?"' - [that]
8. 'Her eyes meets her companion...' - [meet], [companion's]?
9. '"But I have a feeling was there.' - [he was]
Daniel Kozaki chapter 33 . 2/25
And suddenly, amidst tales of Ophelio's hormonal past, we got trouble high up with the Divine One. Why did you choose to make the time unknown?
D-jump. Lol.
Torphelia, heh.
'Oddly, Kana seems to be in a stupor, too.' - lol, suddenly, Kaoru.
'Nothing says hello louder than an axe in the face' - Anonymous.
Finally, Haruki shows his beast form.
Oh, a premonition.
Nope, not answering, just because. (trollface) :3

What Erebyn said. -u-

Editor's nitpicks:
1. ' her assailant's hooded, blue and silver cloak and eerie shimmer.' - [an]
2. 'The room fills with an violent, orange light...' - [a]
3. 'The Divine One charges her assassin...' - [charges at]
4. '...only to find spinning kick heading for his face.' - [a spinning kick]
5. '"It seem that have fully master blood alchemy."' - [seems that you have fully mastered]?
6. '"But you're premonitions!"' - [your]
Daniel Kozaki chapter 32 . 2/25
'"You'll have to rip my head off, first."' - Your obsession with the word 'head' comes to mind, Mae.
Oh hai Kaz. Nice blouse you have there.
Dat dialogue. 'Conveniently, his silky blouse opened to expose a well-muscled, hairy chest.' Dat description... -w-"""
'The group relaxes, letting out a mixture of relieved sighs and annoyed grunts.' - lol so it's okay coz he's... gay? -w-"
'Kana stands to show his snuggly fitted, wet loincloth.' - I'm suddenly tempted to write another Ophelio. Then I remembered it was Dnight's week. Well, another time, Mae, another time.
Knowing the cycle of your female teammates can be a matter of life and death. Mae's world.
You just have to make Kaz the bad guy, huh... borderline M-material, dangit. Kaz has a mustache?
Dat ending. Hah.

Editorial Nitpicks:
1. 'He pounced Kazuo...' - [pounced on]
2. '"I'm know magic, too! I'm can use my dark sorcery to make a barrier."' - [I], twice
3. 'Lead by Toru, Ophelia approached a cluster of saplings.' - [Led]
4. '"She hasn't went into heat."' - [gone]
5. 'Kaeda says.' - oh hai genderbent Kaede.
6. '"If you body wants to..."' - [your]
7. 'Ophelia's crying seemed to had made Kazuo's smile grew wider.' - [have]
8. 'With is free hand...' - [his]
9. 'If she give up, will the nightmare end sooner?' - [gave] [would]
10. 'The treetops suddenly rustles...' - [rustle]
11. 'Satisfied that the limp was now useless...' - [limb]
12. '...and each wound Kazuo opened were closed within seconds.' - [was]
Daniel Kozaki chapter 31 . 2/24
Well, been a while since my last Ukemental review.
Suddenly, tentacle. So... Toru can change into a tentacle monster? *shot*
'"We must stop your sisters from tainting Ophelia's innocent mind!"' - reminds me of a fujoshi mom I know trying to keep her children's innocence. :3
That ending... now I understand Erebyn and Loli's review.

Editorial nitpicks:
1. 'Birds sing and forge at its bank.' - I think you meant [forage]. '...running in on all fours and causing the forging birds to flutter away in a panic.' - same.
2. 'Ophelia's big, violet eyes blinks rapidly while Yuri snickers quietly.' - [blink]
3. ' a black, fury appendage sticking of the water.' - I think you meant [furry]. Ew, though, eww...
4. 'Kaeda says.' - [Kaede]. Still, Kaeda sounds like a genderbent version... oho. *w*
5. '"I've never seen a inukonjou in his beast form..."' - [an]
6. '"We're are gonna clash and argue, but that doesn't mean..."' - [We're]
7. '"She won't bare you a strong litter."' - [bear]
8. '"I must disagree, Daika." Toru said.' - [Daika," Toru said.]
some1eleven chapter 33 . 2/23
Honestly... I can't even say that I read these last three chapters. I more or less just skimmed through them, and even then what I saw made my skin crawl :\ You really should post some warning about this arc, Mae. A lot of this material just plain grossed me out :( There's just... Ugh, I think I'd better cut it now. Suffice to say, some of your readers might not be the target audience for *that* sort of thing. It'd be really nice if you could give them an honest warning so that they can just skip it over ._.
some1eleven chapter 31 . 2/22
... okay... Now that's something I don't get. How come half of RAOSC and their moms fawned over chapter 20, but no one blinks at the end of this chapter? ._.

Honestly... Do I want to read on? :/
pinksamurai1014 chapter 34 . 1/24
aww, Toru has a kohai :D..Ryuuji beat him but still respects him, cool pup!
Anyways, Octavian and amate seem mysterious. Wanna see more of them since they work for Arashi pack...
Cool chapter :D.
Guest chapter 29 . 1/24
Young Ophelia is way too cute. Can she get a spin-off of her own? *w* And Ophelia in a kimono needs to happen. Fullstop d v b
Guest chapter 28 . 1/22
Opheliaaa! Can you please call Toru 'Onee-sama'? I have a friend who'd love to hear that U
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