|Reviews for Elemental Warriors|
| Revamp chapter 30 . 4/10
I am back for another review. Sorry I've been M.I.A. but life has been kicking me lately. I've really only had time to update the story I'm most proud of right now: Defy and Comply. I haven't been prompt on any of my reviews. Now, onto doing what I came here to do.
Things definitely started off with a bang, what with Arashi and Mamoru's confrontation. The scene where he got kicked in the face was a nice mix of hilarity and drama.
It also looks like Ophelia will be facing off against the three sisters in a little sparring match. There was a good amount of description and action. It flowed fluidly despite it being a little on the short side. It appeared that out of the three sisters that Tamiko appeared to be the toughest opponent. I have to wonder, if Ophelia wasn't distracted if she would have been able to beat Tamiko or would it have went the other way around?
It seems like Juro is stuck in his half-blood hating ways, but I didn't think Takeshi was going to die so easily.
You did a good job on the development of the sisters. You've at least set them apart from each others. I'll be honest, I never thought much of the sisters due to their lack of involvement in any serious events in the story and their overall lack of development in the story besides being a part of the status quo of people with the reputation of sleeping with Toru. They were really just...there to me and that was it and I didn't think they contributed much to the overall plot as of yet.
I do find that Tamiko is probably the most interesting of the sisters to me. I find she was developed more than the other two and I like what you've done with her personality thus far. The other two will still have to grow on me or develop more before I can make an opinion on them.
Good job on this chapter.
| kingofe3 chapter 30 . 4/1
That dream sequence with Takeshi reminded me of Lion King where Scar was holding Mufasa above the stampede. Inspiration from me lately, huh? *shot* Seems like he still has a long way to go until he learns to fully accept half breeds.
That fight scene wasn't long to be honest. It was rather nice regardless as it showed us what the trio sisters were capable of. And yes, you've made them stand out from each other. Dat Tamiko. Dat Yuri. Kaeda needs to catch the hell up. owo
"Battle of the moe?" I love how Ophelia is self aware of her moeness now.
A good chapter. Now update more frequently. *w*
| Miles Montgomery chapter 30 . 4/1
Great chapter. Can't wait for the next. Ophelia must upgrade soon.
| faithshinkou chapter 24 . 2/22
Oh lord, Ryuji! You so innocent! So cute! :3
For a moment, I thought Mamoru was going to. . . Ryuji. . . and. . .*clears throat* Stop dragging me into the darkness, Mae-san! :I
I would like to request a Toru-beat-up-scene, please! Mamoru, just make sure you don't kill him or Ophelia will get mad! But bruise him up pretty well! *w*
The fact that Ophelia's a fujoshi just makes her even more lovable! OwO
Oh Kana, no! Hnngh! What did they do to him? What did they take from him? Gosh, I'm so worried! But it looks like they'll return him for the time being, but I feel as if they won't send him back without any assurance. . . Please be safe!
A-Ahh! S-Seito? Does this mean that he's. . .? No. . . I can't make conclusions yet. Nothing's sure yet.
How the subplots tie in with the main plot is just amazing, Mae-san. Truly, amazing. Your writing prowess is just as evident as ever! Amazing job! I'm having so much fun reading Elemental Warriors, and it's making me so happy!
| faithshinkou chapter 23 . 2/22
I'm sure I've said this before, Mae-san, but your plot is just excellent. Exceptional. In terms of plot fluidity, detail, and strength, Elemental Warriors is certainly one of the best. The plot is getting even more amazing and intricate still, and I am enjoying every bit of it.
In addtion, your writing is just so very comfortable. Like I said, no strain at all. I really liked how you switched focus from Ophelia to Ryuji in the beginning, that was just so natural. I can literally feel your excellence and love for your craft!
And of course, your characters as well. I'd love to meet them in real life. They would be so fun to be with! And I'd love being an Elemental Warrior as well!
So. . . So I suppose Toru really is special for Ophelia, huh. . . o3o bummer. Though, it's not as if it's not very beautiful, either. Though I dislike Toru for being a womanizer, I will admit that nobody fits with Ophelia more than he does. So, yeah. But if he hurts her, I will never forgive him.
Ophelia having her hair down must be beautiful as hell! OwO
OH, OH! Random, off-topic question! Is kissing a dark-type poisonous? OuO I want to know!
Kana. . . please be safe! I know you can pull through!
Wonderful job with this chapter, Queen Inukonjou Fujoshi Mae-sama! And don't worry, the chapter isn't too long at all, it's on perfect length! So again, you have my utmost respect! I can't wait to read on!
| faithshinkou chapter 22 . 2/22
I love how you write fight scenes! They are fast-paced yet short and direct to the point, making them so exciting and fun to read! The adrenaline levels are just off the roof!
I see that Naomi's still a hot piece of hindquarters. "Flame Dancer" is a most appropriate title! ouo
And Ophelia won! Yaaaaay! :3 I'd expect no less from my adorable hhngh! I'd love to have her as a younger sister! She'd be so fun to poke and tease!
I can't help but feel that Toru's drainage when using elemental spells will prove to be endangering him at one to many points. . . Stay safe, T-Man!
I also only now recognized the adorableness and awesomeness of Haruki and Toru's relationship! Hmmmgh! You truly are a genius among fujoshis, Mae-san! OuO
If I was a fujosh— I mean, if I was an inukonjou, I'd probably be. . . a half-breed light type! Or a wind type! I want wings! If possible, a light type with wings! OuO With a western-style broadsword!
I enjoyed this chapter very much and I can't wait to read on! Wonderful job as always, Mae-san!
| faithshinkou chapter 21 . 2/21
We had koi for pets once. They were very beautiful. :3
I remember Half-Breed. That was just so good. And, Mamoru has just turned into a wonderful, grown inu. Kaede, Yuri, and Tamiko, despite being pervs, have grown into beautiful inu women as well.
Oh, and I really like how you’ve abbreviated “inukonjou” into just “inu”. Not only is it efficient, it’s catchy and adorable too!
So the pack-ranking match is basically a skirmish between pack members in order to rank them! That’s just so cool! It’s a concept that I’m very original with and I very much enjoyed it!
Kyaaaa! Ophelia, you’re so coooool! X3 Ophelia fan club membership, renewed and sealed! Not only badass, but adorable to the maximum level too! What more can you ask? She’s so awesome! Easily my favorite character along with Kana!
*sigh* Okay, fine. I guess Ophelia and Toru has a special relationship. I can accept that. But I will still not allow Toru to touch her until he’s worthy enough and if he stops his maximum womanizing.
Uwah, this chapter was so good! Your writing is one of the most easiest and relaxing to read! I could feel no resistance or strain to my mind as I read it, and the fun just never stops! The fight scene was fluid and spotless, and was exciting from start to finish, even though it was short! Truly, this is a beautiful, wonderful piece! Mae-san! I respect you so much! You are like, The Queen Inukonjou Fujoshi-sama! Ahahaha! X3
| faithshinkou chapter 20 . 2/21
Mae-saaaan! I'm back! I'm sorry if I hadn't read for so long, the weekly picks were so intense one after the other! Not to mention the heavy amount of school stuff *shudder*. . . But! Now that I have some free time, I better read on while I can!
Oh my god! Upon reading this chapter, I just realized how much I missed your characters so much! Just by being with them again was such a happy and fun time! :3 Like, it even was like, exactly timed, with how I jump back with this chapter, because they had a meeting and everything! Seeing them all again even came with a mild hit of nostalgia that felt very good!
Oh geez, the innuendos in this chapter! *blushes furiously*
Ahahaha! I laughed so much with, "You had three girls, but only one d*ck. Keep your damn fingers away from me!" Oh lord, I couldn't make such a witty joke like that even if I thought about it for a year! Ahaha! Wonderful! And then, I'm kinda anxious of the fact that I immediately got the joke of why Kana couldn't stand up ouo. . . Argh, stop it Mae-san, you're turning me into a perv! :I
Ophelia, my sweetheaaaaart! Hnnngh! Don't let yourself be touched by that dirty Toru! DX *rubs her back and gives her a glass of water* There, there! Toru is so lucky she has you caring for him so much. . . I wish he'd be more appreciative of her! Incidentally, I'm kinda allergic to alcohol. I get all itchy and sore. . . *sigh* I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad about it. owo
Mmgh, the moment I jump back into this, it already got so exciting! I wonder who the inside agent is. . .? Partly because I haven't read on for a while, but I don't have any concrete suspicions with as to who it is. I guess that means I'm in for a surprise! OuO
Once more, I just really like the extra info portion at the end! It's so informative and fun to read! The world you've created is just somewhere I'd really want to live in so much, and I would love being an inukonjou, too! OwO
And! Again, Elemental Warriors is just a beautiful, vibrant, awesome story! I can't wait to read more! This is just so fun! Thank you so much for your hard work, Mae-san! Know that you're making me so happy with your craft!
| Y. S. Wong chapter 21 . 2/16
Huh, didn't realize I was in the twenties. But finally here to return dat review!
You know, I just noticed as I was reading that although I find your narrative style has too much telling for a third person present tense story, it would work really well in VN format narration. Or at least, a regular first person present story. I see you're signed up for the VN project, but ever thought about doing first person on your own?
Anyway, I digress. Your writing's definitely much smoother than it was in the earlier chapters.
Nice fight choreography too. Would have liked to see the battle go a little bit longer, but meh.
| Revamp chapter 29 . 1/10
Man, it's been a while since I've seen an update from you. Ophelia and Toru's interactions in the beginning were humorous. I can say it was touching and cute to see the two like that.
You have a nice, solid sense of description in this chapter. It started off with a bang, then reached a humorous point with Ryuji's injuries and everything. I was definitely entertained by Ophelia, Naomi and Toru's little dialouge exchange.
The powers of the bands are slowly leaking out and coming to light. I also like your backstory on The Originals. Great job!
| faithshinkou chapter 19 . 1/7
T-TORU! YOU DIRTY BASTARD! *slaps him in the face* Ignoring the rule, I hope your d*ck gets cut off! You do not deserve to be called "onii-chan" by sweet, sweet, Ophelia! :I
You're so lucky that she's looking out for your stupid, horny ass!
M-M-Mamoru's ex-boyfriend?! owo
K-Kana is the uke, then, as Toru had deduced. . . OwO Classic, with being the strong, gentle giant that he is.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Mae-san, you fujoshi, you! OuO
One doesn't go flying drunk. The police might catch you.
Ryuji. . . I hope he doesn't end up turning over to the enemy's side. . . I know he won't.
I can feel that something big's about to happen soon. . .
This was a wonderful chapter! The way you add new chapters is just very smooth and good! And I also love the small snippet about the types at the end of the chapter! I definitely look forward to reading on! Great job, Mae-san!
| faithshinkou chapter 18 . 1/7
Uwah! Reading Half-Breed before reading this made it definitely more satisfying!
A-Arashi! OuO You were so cool in Half-Breed!
Mamoru! Tamiko! Yuri! Kaede! It was as if it were only yesterday that you were still cute little puppies!
Hnngh! This chapter! So satisfying!
NOW somebody goes and tries to grab that hot piece of ass that is Naomi! Seito, the last member of Pack 15! Will you be worth her, though?
T-The blatant innuendos in this chapter i-is making me blush. . . ouo Y-You have such an open, adult mind, Mae-san!
A-And Toru will take on t-three earth types?! W-Wouldn't. . . Wouldn't he be wasted? I-I mean, three EARTH TYPES! T-They. . . they're probably beasts in bed! Well, Toru IS black, and black people have a huge. . . ouo Nevermind. I didn't say anything! OuO
Hnngh! Toru! Don't you dare touch Ophelia, you dirty bastard! D:
| A. Pervert chapter 29 . 1/6
I guess I'll start from here and work my way backward eventually, since I've read the prior chapters and its easier to review with a fresher, newer perspective.
Speaking of a new perspective, I see you're trying out a past tense style. One thing I'd like to point out is I think that there are too many 'ly' based words used in the narrative this chapter. There's a good chance you could cut some of them out and the sentence can still stand, or replace them with a more succinct action instead.
Poor Ryuji, becoming a temporary joke attraction for the pack. I guess Kana can really go overboard sometimes.
Ophelia in lacy nightgown. Aww yiss.
That Echolocation perk is actually pretty cool. Another form of navigation other than sight is always a plus.
The pot calling the kettle black part was funny as all hell for me. Nice punchline there, haha.
The information part was the most interesting for me. I guess this is the beginning of where they start to figure out this 'Original' person's intentions, among other juicy secrets. That new found danger of the Parasite Band suggested something rather dangerous. If it can take away, it could probably give back, and not knowing someone's true identity could be rather disastrous.
| kingofe3 chapter 29 . 1/3
Have to say, not much happened in this chapter compared to the previous ones. It was still a good chapter no doubt with some well character relationship building and some humor to boot.
I'm guessing the pack is narrowing down who could be behind all of this, but I doubt it'll be that simple to find out who the true villain is behind just yet.
| Miles Montgomery chapter 29 . 1/3
Another great chapter. I'm really hoping something happens to Haruki (god I'm awful) and Ophelia becomes the new Alpha (shut up! So I like Ophelia). And I think something will happen To Toru, causing something to click in Kana, making it to where he can finally completely control himself.