|Reviews for Elemental Warriors: Volume One|
| Lolitroy chapter 2 . 4/5/2013
Yay Kana! Now I see how tyhe characters look alike haha. I like their designs :D
| Katsurou Shimizu chapter 2 . 4/4/2013
I can't believe this story has so few reviews.
Because it's really good stuff.
I wouldn't reiterate what the other reviewers have said, but suffice to say, I'm liking the premise and how you imbued that feudal Japanese supernatural feel to it. Execution for the most part is great, and I could pick up a leaf or two from you when it comes to character descriptions especially (I'm pretty lazy in that respect.)
Really like how you did the character setup and interactions here. And I'm already clinking glasses with Toru the clown. He's the kind that any group needs to prevent a scene from veering into over melodramatic territory, which is the case in this chapter. And while I've seen this kind of situation before, with the teacher having the painful job to eliminating his former wayward student, I thought you pulled off the emotions rather well.
My only beef with this chapter is the occasional choppy pacing, which is especially inherent here:
[The man doesn't speak, but effortlessly lifts Toru over his head and throws him back up the gorge. Meanwhile, back at the abandoned village…]
- The transition is way too jarring for me as a reader personally. A possible suggestion is to draw out the previous scene so that the shock factor would be delivered with a punch, rather than leave the reader feeling cold. You could also do with a scene break to indicate a smoother transition.
Other than that, I'm really liking what you have so far. Looking forward to reading more!
| Y. S. Wong chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
This is very good. Your prose is smooth, it's easy-to-read, and it draws me in right away. What I like is that you don't bother too long with putting together the context at the beginning. Oftentimes, writers spend way too much time setting up the premise of the story and it just bogs down the pacing. Here, I'm thrown straight into an incident without too much explanation needed. I like that.
As for the setting itself, it's solid. The premise isn't necessarily original, but that rarely ever matters if the execution is good. What I like is that you've got a talent for establishing mood; combined with the wild Japanese setting, that drew me in right away.
Only thing I can say is I think you got a little bit info dump happy towards the end explaining things, particularly with the elements. Otherwise, it's a very solid opening. Not much more to say for now, other than I'm curious to see what happens next. ;)
| Revamp chapter 1 . 4/2/2013
I like the premise of this work, and your small background and explanation of the inukonjous, as well as elements and eye color. There was a bit of hidden powers of the darks revealed as well.
So far, I really love your characters and the mystery around the dark inu girl. Haruki and Kori also seem like deep and interesting characters. This story has a lot of potential and I'm glad I happened to find it on someone's favorites list.
| Lolitroy chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
Oooh the layout is so different now haha. To tell the truth, I think it's more interesting this way. It's more descriptive, and though I haven't seen Ophelia yet I think she'll come around soon. And don't forget Kana!
P. introduction by the way.