|Reviews for Elemental Warriors: Volume One|
| Jax Creation chapter 32 . 10/24/2014
So I figured that it's about time I got to reading this. And then a few paragraphs in...
"You're encroaching on my turf, again, Kazuo!"
ROFLMAO, his dialogue! Now I'm trying to picture the character from Electricity—*dies laughing*
And then Kana intrudes... Oh well he's gay anyway—/ slapped
"I'm a gentleman. I still have on my fundoshi."
—Only you can turn such a potentially dark and serious situation into a bag of laughs xP (Kana (heart))
"we need to hull ass"
"You're gonna hide her"
For a sec I thought he was talking to the mountain x3 *[here]
"Kana says, now perfectly mingled with the group of naked, female warriors… somehow"
—It's funny how capable they are of doing that.
"The look on Haruki's face immediately told Akane that he screwed up."
—Huehuehue (Why would you pick Toru? orz)
Is Haruki still not able to do it? xD
... I'm never going to be able to read the name Kazuo the same way again. MAE, GODDAMIT IT. *buries Electricity even further into the ground*
You might want to look through your banana rap scene a little and proofread.
Oh my, Toru... qq
| Multiverse chapter 3 . 10/15/2014
Great chapter! The dialog is very well written and we can clearly see every scene in your minds when reading. Your story keeps getting better with every chapter. keep up the great work!
| Psykofreac chapter 1 . 10/6/2014
It's an okay start I guess, some expected world building shown. I like the drama of the abandoned 'monster' girl and that along with Haruki and Kori's interaction earlier gave a good idea of their characters. Though they don't seem to stand out much just yet, that would suffice for now.
| 360pages chapter 1 . 9/24/2014
You don't need to use emerald colored so much at the start green might be fine sometimes. You can use it once in awhile, but you used it a lot in quick succession.
Your opening paragraphes had a lot of description in them, but I wouldn't mind a little more for some of the other characters. In fact I wouldn't mind more body language during conversation, is a character cutting or staring at another while they're talking? It makes conversations less dull when reading them.
It's one of the openings where you aren't really given a lot of context to the world, which is fine, there isn't a big exposition dump and this is just the first chapter after all.
I've seen your stories around, though I never really got a chance to read them much...sorry about that!
| Multiverse chapter 2 . 9/22/2014
Another great chapter! You cant go wrong with a group of demon slayers!
The way you write and set up your scenes (especially the opening) pulls us in, as if we are watching it on television rather than just reading it. Your just missing a couple quotation marks on the last paragraph.
Other than that your grammar and spelling were perfect. We found Kana's last words to be very heartbreaking and sad. You've done a wonderful job with the dialogue.
| Multiverse chapter 1 . 9/17/2014
This story is pretty darn good so far! It oozes with that anime feel. Haruki is an awesome character. Your description of him were very well written. All of your descriptive writing was very cool! Especially the beginning. We are not too sure about Kori yet. She seems like an antagonist, but its too early to say.
We are anxious to see where this story goes!
| Thundy chapter 3 . 9/13/2014
So a chapter that goes into depth on the members of the group
Nice nice. Everyone has his or her own quirks, which is pretty cool
I miss the action though, but I know that'll be back soon
Nice chapter showing each character and their traits ;)
| Thundy chapter 2 . 9/12/2014
How long till the buttsex? :D
Anyways, looks like Kana's not just a rampaging monster beast dude I thought he was.
He spares peoples too. :D
Nice action. Was a nice read ;)
| Lolitroy chapter 31 . 9/11/2014
| Sentimental RainCloud chapter 1 . 6/22/2014
Here we go, this has been long coming.
Normally, I like to include a bit a CC in my reviews, but I don't think that is necessary. I think this prologue been anal'd by CC one too many times. I'm just going to lightly touch on what I liked.
Here we have a winner in terms of description. I really enjoyed this.
'The creature's red-brown fur stiffens and black-tipped ears twitch as it gazes upon its prey.'
'In an instant, the inukonjou dissipates in a green, spiritual aura. The emerald essence swirls gently, transforming into an elegant and noble-looking woman clad in a white gown'
I liked the use of the sense of sight here. It really brought the scene to life in my mind.
I'm shocked at how short this was. I really liked the description and low of the sequences from one scene to another. It was easy to read and enjoyable.
Thanks for the good read. u .
| Jax Creation chapter 30 . 5/29/2014
You apologise in your A/Ns too much, Mae xP
Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to those fights.
—And I just remembered that Kana is a British gentleman, so that's going to impede his ability to fight Ophelia xD Ohohohoho—*slapped*
Anyway, I'm now all caught up on a story for the first time in a long time. Update soon ;3
| Jax Creation chapter 27 . 5/29/2014
1) I knew he had some random metal thing strapped to his back but didn't get an inkling of it being a gun until whatsherface mentioned she'd left one.
2) Toru! (because I like him slightly more.) But hey, Ryuji is like a little Toru so I wouldn't be surprised if he won either.
3) Kana! (Again, because I him more.) But he's kind of all banged up and susceptible to Dark-power poison so Ophelia's got a bit of an advantage on her end.
4) Prefer it this way. Adds additional suspense.
And your characters' ages continue to perplex me -w- b
| Jax Creation chapter 20 . 5/29/2014
"Kana jerks awake with a startled yelp. He attempts to sit up, and lets out a pained grunt and lies on his side instead."
LOLOLOLOLOLOL-WHAT? WITH WHO?
"It's puppy love!"
*cough* This is shameless self-advertising, isn't it? ;3
"Keep your fingers away from me!"
...I need a new sense of humour... orz.
Good lord, these guys argue and gossip about each other like women xD
Aaaah man, and Ryuji calls Naomi oblivious...
| Jax Creation chapter 19 . 5/29/2014
""Is this him!?" Kana asks in an enthusiastic, high-pitched voice. "He's… so… ADORABLE!"
—Sometimes I have so much trouble working how old (relatively) they all are, lol. (Like Haruki is such an old man despite being younger than Tory xP)
"Maybe onii-chan can help"
—And that right there is why Toruphelia is slightly weird...
She knows him well though, lol. Covering his ass and all.
Naomi is slooooow. (Wind-type equals airhead?)
Ryuji is like a younger, crasser Toru -w- b
| Jax Creation chapter 18 . 5/29/2014
Roflmao, you really cranked up on the yaoi vibes xD And Toru, lol... Maybe one day he'll learn to keep in his pants. Can't say that I can picture the ever serious Haruki shacking up with one of the girls in Pack 17—though you're clearly aiming for HaruxNaomi ;3