Reviews for Whipped Cream Mustaches
A. Nonymous1234 chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
My thoughts through the whole story- wait, what? Every other paragraph something odd but funny happened, towards the end at least. To me, this felt like it could have been an alternate beginning to the movie Wanderlust. Ever seen it? The fact that this guy broke into her apartment just to eat whipped cream (well, and also to give her a speech about her life) made me laugh. Except for the flashback where she gets fired, there was a very lighthearted mood to this. There wasn't many errors, just a little bit not even large enough to rant about here and there. Overall, I think you did a good job. I almost wish you would continue it, just so we can see where "Michael" takes her.
Lolitroy chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
The story is pretty engaging. But do you know why it has few reviews? Because of the italic chunk. I didn't want to read it because of that, to be honest. You should point out it's a flashback or something and take off the italic so people don't get lazy to read it.
Rebel Maru chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
First off, it's me, spreading the review karma love!

That was somewhat weird, in a kind of good way.

The thing I find kind of odd about this, however, is how it feels unfinished. It feels like this is just the prologue to a adventure series. I feel like this is a sort of 'this is how we met' bit, and then next up, we'll see Michael and Joan galivanting, doing something exciting - investigating murders, tracking down stolen jewels, hunting vampires? The question is: what? This has so much potential as a prologue, but the story's complete..?

This is very well written, but I would like more of it :P

Maru