|Reviews for The Sovereign Sword|
| S.J.Crona chapter 1 . 3/11/2014
How dare you kill off Peleus already!? I was in love! And then you killed him! God, hewas hilarious! And then . . . darkness encompasses him . . . Why?!
On another note, I absolutely LOVE this story. Probably one of the best I've read online anywhere. I can see a lot of time and preparation has gone into weaving this tale. I am only one chapter (prologue) in, but I am already completely submersed. Great job!
Perhaps part of the reason I loved Peleus so much as I read was because he reminded me somewhat of my character Nivren, who is also a black-haired prince. Lord! If I killed him off as you did here, I would cry!
There were a few minor grammar mistakes, such as an occasional omitted word, bit otherwise, it was grammatically sound and pleasing to read. Again, I congratulate you, my friend :)
| nightfuries chapter 2 . 1/24/2014
I know I reviewed the first chapter for this story AGES ago, and I'm really sorry I didn't continue sooner! Especially after reading this chapter, it was absolutely fantastic. Not as action-packed as the prologue, perhaps, but still, an awesome chapter.
Just two nit-picky things I saw:
"Split-eye peered at him with ebon eyes..." You mean "ebony"?
"She's concerned about her father.""Now why's that?" I think these were meant to be two separate paragraphs
Anyways, I loved this chapter. It was really cool how it was a relatively ordinary span of time for the characters (besides the dream and the end of the chapter), yet it was so interesting even learning about their normal lives. Of course, I can't imagine those will continue much longer with the arrival of these ships :)
| Guest chapter 11 . 11/4/2013
why does he want to free freya so much he only knowed here for a couple of days, it is kinda weak
| KnightX chapter 6 . 10/14/2013
I know this is suppose to be dramatic and fantasy based, but with mature themes, i just can't find myself enjoying it, let alone taking it seriously. The charaters don't act the way you would expect (for example, when pelegrin met with freya again about vahn, the first thing he should have done is ask her about vahn), the main charcter is entire unrelatable and i find myself hating him, some of the actions that are taken make no sense. In the end, the story is well written, but elements of it are sloppy and i can't seem to enjoy it.
I really tried liking it, I really did, but i can't.
| F.D. Charles chapter 10 . 8/18/2013
I kinda like Gorgis for his interesting character :)
| F.D. Charles chapter 9 . 8/18/2013
Wow, like i really feel sorry for the smuggler :(
| Vladvonbounce chapter 1 . 7/30/2013
A nice, dramatic opening chapter! You give a lot of information and that makes the chapter go on for a bit too long. I would consider cutting maybe a bit of the middle out. You have created a clear backdrop for your story. The world of Eos feels very alive and realistic. I really like the character of Peleus, the way there are two sides of him, a lot of anger and fury but then to his wife he is really sweet and loving. I found the ending a little bit odd in that while the fight was still going on Peleus and Beor start having a conversation about baby names. I think Beor or Peleus need to kill off the last of the attackers and then they can have this conversation. Also these ruffians must really want this man dead to attack him while his wife is giving birth a few feet away. Overall though I found it exciting and engaging.
"Peleus thought aloud" Should be out loud
| F.D. Charles chapter 5 . 7/11/2013
The last part of this chapter was greatly written, but it kind of broke my heart :(
| F.D. Charles chapter 1 . 7/10/2013
Awesome prologue :D!
| Gigaremo chapter 4 . 7/8/2013
Eeeh... I'm very undecided as to whether to trust Freya or not. On the one hand, her conversation with Pell makes her seem very kind and honest... on the other hand, well, we're kind of seeing her through Pell's rose-tinted spectacles. She could very well be manipulating him, and Pell's dream only makes me think that more. She said she'd see him in her dreams; maybe she's dreamed of him being this "chosen one" or whatever before, hence why she's using him. Bleh, I dunno though.
The scene with Ephraim seems like it's something to be remembered later; obviously this Wicked Witch of the West will come into play later.
I really like the fact that it's Vahn, rather than Pellegrin, who is fulfilling the classic hero archetype at the moment. It's a really nice twist on the classic story.
The festival scene is written really well, it makes this village seem like a really nice place. This will make it even more upsetting when Pell and the narrative inevitably have to leave it behind.
The pig jousting was awesome as well; I loved how it was written so seriously, it just added to the hilarity of it.
But then the mood is dropped... ugh, poor Asvoria. These soldiers are hideous; they're not keeping to their oath at all. It's a shame Borris is probably STILL going to be too much of a wimp to stand up to them.
Vahn is officially the most badass character now. If he dies, I shall be VERY annoyed. I mean, I'm already annoyed because of Pellegrin. How could he just stand there?! I mean, I don't expect him to charge in and take on trained soldiers, but he could have run for help or something when Vahn was still fighting Gertrud... although, actually, Beor was gone as well, so that probably means he's off fighting other soldiers. UGH, if Beor dies as well as Vahn I give up. :I (not really, but y'know.)
My prediction for the next chapter is one of these two: Vahn dies and this sparks a full-blown battle between the villagers and the soldiers, OR Freya and/or Titus show up and order the soldiers to stop.
Anyway, really good chapter; best one yet. I eagerly await the next time I get the chance to sit down a read more of this story.
| Gigaremo chapter 3 . 7/6/2013
Bleeeh. Originally I wanted Ranolf to end up with Ardis, now I want her to be with Pellegrin... and she's actually with Vahn. :P Oh well.
Anyway, good chapter. I like the mystery with the golden-haired girl, she seems like she'll be an interesting character. The way she can command Titus around is intriguing; she must be a person of some great (probably religious) importance.
As for Titus himself, UGH. He and his cronies seem horrible; you've done a very good job of characterizing them this way. I'm a bit confused as to why they have so many names, though; are Var'din and Arundel supposed to be the same thing?
The other character I'm starting to dislike intensely is Borris. He assumes Pellegrin is pursuing his daughter based on no real evidence whatsoever, and torments him over his parentage. He reminds me very much of Sloan from Inheritance (see, here I go again) with his prejudice against the protagonist for no logical reason. As much as I don't want to see Titus and his goons massacre the townsfolk, if they'd just kill Borris for me I'd be very happy. :P
Mind you, then Ardis would be all upset, and I'm starting to like her a lot more after this chapter.
I could ramble a whole lot more, particularly about Beor's secrets, but I won't, because you've heard more than enough already.
Basically, good chapter. :)
| Gigaremo chapter 2 . 7/5/2013
I liked this chapter even more than the first, if anything. You do a really good job of painting a picture of this town and Pellegrin's life within it. I really liked the interactions between him and his friends, they were really believable. Banter and one-upmanship is genuinely how most boys interact, and you nailed it really well. Vahn seems like an interesting character, the way he's torn between his home life and becoming an accomplished swordsman. He actually has a lot more going on than Pellegrin at the moment; however I'm sure that won't last.
Beor still remains my favourite. He reminds me a lot of Burrich from the Farseer Trilogy with his blunt honesty and drinking habits, but genuinely caring nature. (Yes I am going to keep saying things remind me of other things because I'm a fantasy addict.)
I hope Ardis and Ranolf end up together, that'd be awesome. And... I hope Pellegrin doesn't actually have a thing for Vahn's mum because... bleh. That'd be a bit weird.
Anyway, overall a good chapter. Can't wait to see what these ships are all about.
| Gigaremo chapter 1 . 7/5/2013
Okay, well, you asked me to review, so I'm reviewing. But at 19 chapter and 115 reviews, it seems like you're doing fine without me. XD
First thing I will say is that this should probably be rated M, rather than T. There's a lot of language, gore, sexual references, etc. So, yeah, a rating change is probably in order.
As for the chapter itself, I really liked it. It's a very strong start; I really didn't know what to predict. You right fight scenes very well, which I know is very hard to do.
The whole thing reminded me of the A Song Of Ice And Fire series by George R.R Martin, which instantly made me very interested as those are the best damn books of all time as far as I'm concerned. The way you killed the prologue P.O.V character off was particularly reminiscent of his work. :P
As for the character himself, I'm sad to say I did not feel much for his death. It didn't really surprise me; he was drawing far too much attention to himself for his own good, what with his angry outbursts every time Selena was mentioned. He also wasn't very likable; very pompous, and almost seemed to relish in the fact that he had killed his wife's father.
Beor meanwhile, seems likable, an honest and loyal soldier, if a little rowdy. I assume he will play a role in the story as it shifts to follow Pellegrin, which I assume it will at some point.
All-in-all, really good stuff. I will definitely continue reading it when I get the chance, and bore you with my long-winded reviews. XD
| Jave Harron chapter 19 . 7/1/2013
Okay, nice to know you're back from your break. It's nice to see Ardis again, but Lorilyn drags the chapter down a bit. She seems more like Ms. Exposition than someone recalling too much. There's little description of her body language or facial expressions, despite lots of potential to do so given the intensity of what she is recalling.
| ghostleon chapter 19 . 6/29/2013
Fantastic, Superb, Amazing. This story is great and it gets better with every chapter. You have three tales all bounded together each unknown to the other even though their goals all appear to be the same. Ardis and Pellegrin both hunt for Vahn, Pellegrin and Vahn both are after the golden goddess in their own way, and Vahn is essentially the center of everything. What trials will the three protagonist face? That is for you to tell us.