Reviews for Emma White
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2013
Hi. I'm here to review your work. I have much to say.

This story was certainly entertaining, as I always enjoy anything relating to the paranormal. However, I feel like you want true criticism, and I believe that goes further than a pat on the back and some words of praise.

Ha. A classic murder one shot. The introduction of Abel and Emma sitting one the bench was great, with some dry aftertaste that I'd like to bring to light. I liked how she constantly pesters him about what her life could have been. In addition his usual replies seem kinda strange. This could be because of your character's strong composure, but his character just seemed a tad... empty.

The transition from the classroom to the police interrogation is awkward at best. I understand that it's a fashion of skipping to the point, but it came off as a bit... sloppy.
The ending was superbly done. A manifestation of the soul? I wasn't expecting that. A breath of fresh air.

I'd say this one-shot was done rather well. Remember there is always room for improvement. ;)
-Sapphire
MsGeekNerd chapter 1 . 6/25/2013
Ooooo that was haunting! Great job! I hope to hear more from you! Thank you for following me!
Someone chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
I like your format and how you wrote this tale. I'm slightly confused.
Sir Scott chapter 1 . 3/12/2013
I really enjoyed this short story. This site would be improved if there were more stories like it on here.

SirScott
Paige Terner chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
I agree with morie-yama. Maybe Emma should teach him a lesson and say something like, 'Well, you should realize that sorry isn't enough.'
But I think morie-yama means 'If I were a murderer I'd be the same way' cuz Abel said that...
(By the way, last line, you mean conscience?)
morie-yama chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
I like how he thinks that "sorry" will make things better. If i was a ghost i'd be the same way.
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