|Reviews for The Runaway|
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 7/17/2013
this would be amazing as a spoken word piece. gorgeous imagery.
| Wondering Jew chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
Yes I greatly approve of this
| tolerate chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
I think I just ran out of breath. I really like the way you can write and write without stopping and the pace I read it in was fast and hurried. There are many parts of this poem that I especially liked, but I realized there were too many and I guess I just love the entire poem. Your style is really unique, and it's a whole chunk of words and usually, I can't be bothered to read such things but when I read the first line, I couldn't get my eyes off it. It's beautiful and it just steals my breath away, like I've mentioned many times. Keep writing!
| we've got obsessions chapter 1 . 3/19/2013
"my heart will fall silent (but when i reach it,
i'll tumble off the edge of the earth and burst
into a stardust sonata without a pulse)"
i think this is my favorite part.
as far as critiques go...i'm not especially good as critiquing poetry, but i thought the focus of the poem was kind of all over the place. i think that might have been intentional, considering the title. it would be cool if you could tie in some kind of theme or use common imagery throughout the poem, if that makes sense. it might make the speaker sound driven.
and i thought the part in the middle where you pulled in the "i think that he could love me if he would" seemed a little out of place. it doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem.
to write poetry about it in loud
letters on the walls"
i LOVE this part. i've fantasized about doing similar things.
| just-a-breeze-in-eternity chapter 1 . 3/16/2013