Reviews for His Sacrifice
Kay Iscah chapter 1 . 8/17/2013
Not much to say here, though I liked "I would cry longing for the cage that kept me from life. " that stuck out as particularly strong. I'm a born again believer who grew up in church, so the very familiar with the story and theology of the cross.

Given the shortness of the piece, I'd consider breaking some of this into shorter paragraphs, particularly online, they tend to read easier. It would help expand the sense of time during the walk to Calvary too.

Technical stuff:

[I know that while ]

The paragraph didn't break properly here.

[He got back up, and he fell once more.]

Capitalize the second "he" for consistency.
Mandy Tyler chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Wow! What a twist. I thought the main character was in an emotional prison and thinking about Christ in general then it turns out they are actually there with Jesus! Very emotional! Very good job!