|Reviews for Locking the Screen Door|
| Happy Hippie chapter 1 . 3/30/2013
This is some good writing! There are a lot of really beautiful metaphors in here, like "Wherever he goes, I hope he doesn't get blown away and lost in the wind," and "The wind cries, almost drowning everything out and the screen door thumps, like the heartbeat of it all." I really liked both of those, and there are several more examples that I won't bother to list because you wrote the thing so obviously you've read them before :P. I think your writing shows a lot of promise. If you're looking for suggestions one thing I would recommend is paying attention to flow. You've got a lot of short sentences that start with the word "I" or "the" and I think varying sentence structure could further strengthen your work. Keep it up!
- Jessie -
| myheart4you chapter 1 . 3/20/2013
This was great. Are you a guy? If not, I'm super jealous of your ability to write from a male perspective. I loved this story. It was deep, and super realistic. These people better be real :o
I'd actually like to see this continue, if you think it's possible :)