|Reviews for The Republic|
| OneManHedgehog chapter 1 . 3/20/2013
Wow, the first thing that popped into my head when reading this was 'Someone's been playing too much "Paranoia" for their own good' but after seeing how this short flash fiction ended I'm interested in seeing how this story would turn out should you decide to continue or expand upon it at a later point.
One suggestion, though it's only my personal opinion, would be to include the 'PM' after each mention of the time. I know it seems odd to do so, but some repetition is a good thing, as when I was reading this I had to go back and remind myself of just what time it was. One small thing, but I figured I should mention it.
Remember, repetition / bad writing, despite what you might hear about 'changing it up' around here on FP.
Well, I hope this review helped in some small way. Take care, and keep writing!