Reviews for Shelter
ShiftyObserver chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Wonderful story! The ending seemed a bit abrupt to me. I loved your dialogue, but I did not understand who was talking to who. I suppose that that was your intent, to allow the reader to determine who the young man was speaking to. Good luck and good writing!
Lux Beta chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
I really like the way this story is written - have you ever heard of an online comic called "His Face All Red"? It's very similar to this in that it tells us both nothing and everything at the same time. I love ambiguously enigmatic stories like this one which are open to dofferent interpretations

I also like how much you captured the essence of the human spirit within this little story - it's a very impressive feat considering that it's only I just under two hundred words! You showed how both survivors (I'm presuming there are two and it's not just one man talking to himself) are still hopeful in the maws of the abyss - you showed how even in the darkest hours offl the night it's stil in humanity's nature to dream and hope. Very good work!

-Lux Beta
Azuran chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
very enigmatic. It is a very readable tragedy that makes one think. After reading the last line I reread the whole thing, to this point I'm not sure if the dialogue is spoken by two characters or one character speaking to the picture. I particularly like the line "that doesn't mean their gone," Because this is such an enigmatic tale its interpretation seems to differ with every reader... All in all very interesting. Excellent work!

burlap chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Despite it's length, this is a very powerful piece. I like how ambiguous their situation is, and how ambiguous the identities of the speakers are-it gives your piece a feeling of how it can be anyone in their situation. I also like how their entire situation is in the dark until the last sentence where you only shed but a little light on what kind of situation they are in. The fact that this is made up mostly of dialogue is great, too, because it reinforces the idea that it could be anyone.

-Direwolf Rising
Rita Dinis chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Man, what a powerful flash-fiction. Suspense!
I don't actually realize if that's a monologue or a dialogue (even if it's only imagination or a mental voice) but maybe it works both ways.
It's a short plot but I'd like to see a development. It would surely clarify everyone's doubts.
The grammar is fine, text is fluid.
I understand, to a point - flash fic is like this. Leaves the reader hanginf on a thread. :)
okunoin chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Very poignant :) The experimental structure is great too, I like how it's entirely dialogue until the very last line, it makes you stop and think.
The theme is something different which is lovely to see :D
Keep up the great work!
Brandon Macauley chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Its a little too short. I get that you are trying to convey a desperate final seconds before a bombing, but its simply too quick for it to have any real impact. Regardless of this flaw, It is a well made, intriguing little tale. It does speak volumes of your skill to make the dialogue automatically clear despite having no real characters to attack them. I would give a 6/10. With more size, easily could have been a 8 or even 9 out of ten.
Charlotte Miller chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Alot of emotion in this remarkable short story. Now I maybe wrong but I think he is speaking to the picutre of his girl and imagining her response. Whats so sad is it appears he has no idea if she survived or not. What torture to have go through not knowing in addition to the hell going on above. Excellent story!