Reviews for Then the World Would Be Peaceful
Rennah chapter 1 . 8/5/2014
This kept me wondering till the very end, didn't expect it but looking back through the story it makes sense :)
Menn chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
Whhhaa, I am not used to writing having "you" in it! Interesting nonetheless.
ohsocyanide chapter 1 . 7/20/2013
Can I just say that I loved this? Like, a lot? It was artsy and touching and vaguely heartbreaking. Just good in the best sense of the word. I loved it, really.

You give the readers a really good sense of their relationship without giving too much backstory. The narration is brief without feeling rushed and your tone works really well throughout the whole passage.

I feel as though the entire story reads as being a bit bleak and hopeless, but hope is brought back into it with the phone call at the end.

ohsocyanide.
SneakyReader chapter 1 . 5/31/2013
Well, I've never written a review but I really liked this story. The flow and cadence. I like the alternation between the present and past. I was worried about his boyfriend's job or if he was dead, so glad that wasn't the case. I could feel his emotions. It was very poetic, so simple but moving.
you know them trees chapter 1 . 5/10/2013
Riktigt fin historia :) Poetisk, välskriven och lite sorglig.
Det bästa dock; I'm not going to argue with a pregnant woman. Jag tyckte om det här sättet att skriva, men något av det bästa i dina historier är din humor.
R.P. Ann chapter 1 . 5/3/2013
Why did you have to make me cry? I'm crying. I already knew, halfway through, that he was a soldier and that is what hurts the most. DX

I loved it, loved the style (most of it).
JHeartbreak chapter 1 . 4/6/2013
I love the first scene. It's pretty run-of-the-mill until the last part, the 'you' references. It's almost like a little poem on its own, very succinct and suggestive.

I don't know how much I like the choppy style. In some places it's appropriately punchy, but in others it feels too bare. It interrupts the flow of the reading experience without pointing out any worthwhile reason. Sometimes you get a loping, distracted rhythm, which is good, but often it feels like you are writing whole paragraphs of afterthoughts. Like: "The cat wakes up by the time my tea has gone cool. It jumps onto the counter. The tail flicks. It's dapple-grey and fluffy. You told me its name, whether it was cuddly or not. It laps sleepily at its water. You told me it liked me from the beginning." This entire paragraph feels disjointed to me.

That said, you really do acheive a poetic, nostalgic, bitter-sweet tone to the story. The twin movements, backwards and forwards, were really cool as well. All in all, a very well structured story. There were few elements that didn't work towards the total effect.

I'd like to say I wasn't surprised by the ending though. I totally figured it out. Because I'm so smart. I'm sure other people were surprised though.
FANG Productions chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
Read and run? Is that like, reading and then not reviewing? Okay, here's a review then.

I read through this with mild apprehension because I was thinking that either the love interest: 1) was a soldier or 2) was cheating again and the speaker knew it, but didn't want to believe it.

["Where is he now?"

My sister is stubborn. It runs in the family.

"Overseas."]

This except made me lean toward the second one, though, and I was glad that wasn't the case.

Admittedly, it took me a while to figure out that they were both guys (they are both guys, right?). Madeleine (sp?) asking if the speaker had a girlfriend waiting at home tipped me off...

Something that confuses me: in your summary, [we met nine times before you told me you loved me]... I originally thought that it was odd to move in/marry a person after only meeting them nine times but just now, it struck me. Is it because he's a soldier and overseas all the time that they don't get to see each other often? If this is the case, this is genius.

I also like the use of additional characters, like the sister and the coworkers. I don't know if it was intentional, but I felt as if their presence added to the feeling of loneliness, because they were all there but the love interest wasn't.

Here's a typo, which doesn't detract from the story but made me blink: [My sister has slept on your floor for a week now. I can see that it's tiring het out, but she keeps her mouth shut.]

This was a gorgeous piece!