Reviews for All These Thoughts
lightstheway chapter 1 . 4/30/2013
So, I read some of your poems and I have some thoughts for you...

-How much poetry have you read? The poem that first inspired me to write poetry was Pablo Neruda's "Tonight I Can Write." It's one of the most bittersweet poems ever written; it also taught me that a poem can have "structure" without having "form." What are your inspirations, and what can you learn from them?
-It seems like you favor short lines in your poetry, but using too many short lines can dilute their impact. As an exercise, what if you tried to write a poem where each line was at least seven words long?
-You don't need to capitalize the first word of every line in a poem. Most modern poets don't.
-Think about a "low-contrast" image versus a "high-contrast" image. It's hard to see a low-contrast image clearly because light and dark are not distinguished. But a high-contrast image is naturally striking, even if the subject is dull. Right now your poetry is "low-contrast," in that it's *all* dark. Paradoxically, if you added some lightness, the dark points would become more striking.

I hope you continue to write and express yourself. Best of luck, -lights
Purplemonkey123 chapter 1 . 4/14/2013
I really like this poem although, it makes me wonder is the poem metaphorical for something like "kill" could mean something else or is in the point of view of someone who really does that? I like it :)