|Reviews for Don't mess with people's hearts: Even those that belong to men|
| DWest chapter 1 . 5/5/2021
You can publish this in a mobile app so a lot of readers can see your lovely work. Check on NővelStar and see how other writers earn by pursuing their passion in writing.
| cosmonitra chapter 1 . 4/10/2021
Wow. This is very intense, and enjoyable. I liked specially the part when he starts to lose it - it's more or less understandable, specially for a tragedy. The protagonist doesn't have to be a knight in shining armor, he can still commit "wrongdoings" like involving innocents and killing them. I still like him and understand the state and meaning behind his actions.
| cypress16 chapter 2 . 10/4/2013
Hum, interesting. I agree with your points, the reasons for writing the story and the ending as you did. Not all stories have happy ending, that's not how life is. At the same time most readers prefer a happy ending, even me!
I've written a couple of stories (fanfiction) with 'bad' endings. Not violent, though. The first one I changed after my beta didn't like it. I didn't either. The second is still out there will the 'unhappy' ending despite the reviews. I may still wimp out and change the last chapter to something more hopeful.
Anyway, to me you decide your point of writing. Are you making a statement? or you writing for a audience? or some combination? Here on these sites you have the freedom to decide...
Again, the grammar looks fine. ;)
| Leech Lester chapter 2 . 5/16/2013
Okay, this is a very intriguing story that encompasses your messages well. Your main character is very three dimensional: his thoughts, actions, and pain really make him believable and connect him with the reader. It’s good to read a story that addresses that men have just as wide a range of emotions as women- and that they can be hurt emotionally and psychologically. Everyone is, after all, human. More people should open their minds to the idea that (essentially) everyone has the same psychological and emotional spectrum/possibilities. I don't agree with his actions though. I'm all for that painfully hard process called forgiveness, haha. Thanks for a good read!
| Social Anxiety Lives chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
I want to start with your title. It is very intriguing. Being a woman with a personality disorder I drawn to it right away. I am curious to see how the other gender deals with disorder. A-sexual? I can feel that too. There are not many of us out in the world. Now my mind is full of questions. So, I better start reading. Nice opening line. It leaves the writer wanting to find out who the "her" is. A sepia world? That actually sounds a bit fun. His pains sounds like very real depression pains. It seems like the world is crashing down around you and like you are having a heart attack. It comes with an anxiety disorder. He made a poor choice in this woman. As an a-sexual, your partner needs to respect your boundaries. I wonder why his friends and family didn't notice the signs of the abuse? I am wishing he had run away. I worked at a women's shelter and they also take in men there. Sad that these things happen. Stupid man, stop chasing her! A gun? This must be in the states. I just hope he doesn't use that on himself. Now he is involving others in this? I don't feel bad for him now. He just lost my respect. Thanks for the story. It really got me riled up!
| Ophelia Schmit chapter 1 . 4/14/2013
This boy pretty much sounds like he has Ophelia Syndrome. (Hamlet Ophelia! I'm nothing like that bitch! XD) Jesus, boy, this ending was tragic, but I don't think it be better any other way. I really like this piece!