|Reviews for A New Order|
| Ready-To-Begin chapter 1 . 2/14
This story seems really intriguing. It's not usually the type of story I would read, but I'm going for a whole new look this year and I figure what I read should change too. I found the whole scene almost believable and I kept imagining the whole scene in my head. What if America really were to be bombed or something like that? What if your whole family was dead. This chapter is a really great start! I wondering how she will cope with all of the chaos happening around her. I can just feel the plot heating up and all the wild action that could happen. I also liked the mention of James, as to say she is not alone and has a friend. This story has got me thinking about how America would act in a national crisis. Great job with this! I know you already completed it, but I still hope my comment is something worth reading.
| Winter's Howl chapter 23 . 1/6
Epic. Loved it.
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 23 . 12/8/2013
Noo! The last chapter!
Put dumped :P That's what you wrote in the first sentence. It sounds kinda funny, haha.
Wow, it's nice to hear the back story. Now I can have a better understanding of the story, if I really think about it... Hm. Anyways, I can't believe I finally finished this! You're an amazing writer, you know? I can't wait to see how much better the sequel is going to be!
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 22 . 12/7/2013
For sick people. Or hurt people. Or dying people. Wow, so optimistic there Akeera XD
There's a teacher at my school who we call Dr. Shultz. Haha, very interesting! Haha, now I'm picturing him in this kind of story. *a moment passes* Nahh. Can't see it. At all. Oh, and in the next paragraph you said "I replied choked" and I don't think that's right :P
Rhy! *bursts into tears* And you didn't list Keenan... Well, specifically.
Aww! It's almost over? Only ONE more chapter? Wha... Tehe, at least you have a sequel uploaded XD I think you already know my favorite characters, hahaha. Favorite part? How could you ask such a thing! The whole story was my favorite part. Accept for where Rhy passed. That definitely wasn't, even though I've re-read it a few times. Cried every time. And you're fine with your characters! They're great! All of them were amazing!
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 21 . 12/6/2013
Poor Akeera. She's gotten knocked out so many times in these past days.
*Squeal!* Keenan! You're alive! Gosh, I almost cried in relief :')
11 paragraphs from the end of the chapter I found a confusing sentence. Maybe you could change it :) Don't feel like typing it up, haha.
Aw! That last sentence was so sad! Poor Allen, he must be feeling terrible, and in more ways than one.
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 20 . 12/6/2013
Ahg! Another cliffhanger! And you never really said if Keenan died or not... Hinted at something about him, but to be honest I'm not sure what to believe. :'(
Anyways, Dom is a cool character. He seems sweet.
Though, I'm curious just like Akeera is. Why aren't they using their own supplies, and why don't they knew the layout? That sees very unorganized to me. Hm...
Well, of course you're making me read more to find out!
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 19 . 12/6/2013
Okay, now I'm gonna read the next one! Sorry for taking a month and 6 days :/
""That's a hundred yards of open ground" he said as he shut the door." - It was something like that. But I don't know where the door came from. I looked back, but I couldn't really understand where it came from.
I love Keenan's humor. Both of theirs. Really changes the mood of the story :)
In the paragraph where Keera was tied up, you said that she was tied up, and then continued the paragraph as if she didn't realize it. Maybe you could change that a bit.
Haha, I had to laugh when you said her last name "Dustcatcher". I dunno why, but I think it has to do with her lying on the dirt. :P
No! Keenan must not be dead! :'( You better keep him alive all the way through the third book. Please? Pleeaaasseeee?
Ah, now I have to read the next chapter. You're so terrible! You couldn't have killed him! He's the best character besides the guy you already killed :( What's with author's always killing my favorite characters? It always happens! Wha...
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 18 . 10/30/2013
Took me a bit to understand that last part, but I ended up laughing once I figured it out, haha. For a moment I was scared for Keenan! Completely forgot that he was wearing the vest. Scared me. I thought you killed another awesome character. So glad you didn't. Though, who were the snipers? Where'd they come from, and why did they only start shooting then? Stupid people with guns!
Sorry... for taking so long to comment.
| Drierwor chapter 23 . 10/19/2013
Great story so much action packed its not even funny. At first I thought I was going to be reading another version Red Dawn. How funny you mentioned it in the story itself. However, A New Order is a wonderful read. I've been looking for an action packed read and I'm happy to say I found one. Now on to A New Nation.
| Black Trinity chapter 23 . 10/19/2013
Nice... I really can't say anything about it... you really are an awesome writer... Gonna read the sequel now.
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 17 . 10/11/2013
". . . but Allen yanked his arm away and feel to teh ground." - The sentence may or may not be right... but you did write 'teh'. Kinda thought that was funny, haha.
You better not kill Allen! Please? Don't let him die of some infection... He's becoming a really lovable character - same with Wren, even though this is only the third chapter she has been in. They're so cute. Allen would be a wonderful big brother to her.
If you kill any of them... you might make me cry. Honestly. Though, because it's a war story, I think I might be crying soon. :'(
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 16 . 10/11/2013
Tehe XD I didn't think that Allen was a hair obsessed girly. He'll probably kill me for calling him that though 0.o Okay, just don't tell him I said that.
". . .they were cops and SWAT team bodies as well." - I think you mean 'there', not 'they'. :)
". . .that they United Invaders. . ." - I think you mean 'the', not 'they'.
Also, maybe you could use the word 'bodies' a little less. Someone next to me in class read the first sentence and... well... Haha, funny story. Maybe I'll tell you later. Or.. nah. I'll tell you now, because it's kinda funny. She yelled at the teacher and said, "Red flag! Red flag! Look what Hope's reading! It's not school appropriate yada yada" The students stared at me, along with the teacher. It was uncomfortable. Then someone said a snooty comment that made everyone in the class laugh. If it was appropriate to post on FP, then I would. But it was interesting XD
Anyways... yeah... um. Yeah. Okay, I'll just go ahead and post this now.
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 15 . 10/11/2013
A bit confused... this chapter is exactly the same as the last one. Maybe it was an accident? Well... anyways, I'll read the next chapter in about an hour or so. :)
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 14 . 10/10/2013
Oh, you're really getting into this story, aren't you!? I like how you're comparing everything to birds in this chapter, it really adds on to the mood. Though, things are really starting to heat up now, and I feel that this chapter was one of those "eye of the storm" chapters. Can't wait to find out what happens next! And you were right! Wren is a really cute character! :3 I wonder if she'll become my favorite like you say she will.
"And not recently, the grass stains were fresh." - The copy and paste thing doesn't work anymore, so I just guessed by memory. The sentence should be vaguely right, at least. But anyways, you should either get rid of the 'not', or change the 'were' into 'weren't'. :)
In the sentence that came after Wren whistling, you wrote the word survivor twice in the same sentence. Maybe you could mix up the words a little bit.
I'll try and read another chapter tomorrow. I don't know why I keep stalling to read this. I have a full 35 minutes of freetime during school... Well, now I know what I'm going to be doing during that period!
| katayoku.no.tori chapter 13 . 9/19/2013
Aww! I loved this chapter! I really like your characters personalities right now. They seem really nice, even though they are all battle hardened. And Jami did loosen up a little bit. :) Which is good, he needs it! Now though, I wonder who that girl was...