|Reviews for Shake|
| Wondering Jew chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
This feels like a lullaby
| tolerate chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
I think in the third line, you meant enough 'dust' and not 'dusty'.
I really like this. Especially the first line, where you wrote 'no dark deep enough'. Normally people would just write 'darkness' and believe me, it tends to get a little cliched. So by writing 'dark' instead of 'darkness', it's new and unique. The words you chose are beautifully poetic. The imagery is great, and this is like a slow descent into a certain sorrow. There was light in the first few lines and the light is getting dimmer, and dimmer, until there's just your body and the ocean. Your description in line 11 to 15 (until 'can live') was beautiful, and I could imagine the blueness and little lights of it.
The last two lines where you speak of going back to sleep so that you can wake up again makes me think that you're slowly going upward into the light, into the surface, just so you could drown again.
So all in all, it's impressive and beautiful, like usual.
| musicinmosaic chapter 1 . 4/19/2013
This is beautiful. Such great imagery and flow. Great job!