The opening of the first chapter was really good:) I wonder what happened to hansel?

THIS IS GOOD. BUT THE WORDS DESCRIBING THE PLACE OR SETTING MUST BE MORE MEANINGFUL AND ACCURATE, THIS WAY, THE READERS COULD IMAGINE IT MORE VIVIDLY AND EXPERIENCE IT IN THEIR MINDS.
YOU COULD TELL SOMETHING ABOUT THE COLOR OF THE CLOUDS, THE SMELL OF THE BREEZE, THE TREES, THE LANDSCAPE, ETC. YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF IT, BUT THERE ARE STILL ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENTS.

Kevin! wrong spelling imo "happy" :)) and remember one will always be less than thirty-eight

fixed the internet just to read this chap. I'm getting bored. proceed to chapter 31 please. HAHAHa just jokens. hi kev :) padayuna na.

aweeeeeeesome what happened in the end?

Long Live DALTONHOOD! :))

This is actually quite nice although I thought a little bit of explanation was probably needed. The premise of the story is very interesting and I look forward to more in the future.

Your writing is quite excellent, and however it could not be more without criticism, I say you should describe who Hansel and Millie are, because when I started reading "Hansel Arvon" I asked who.

Feel free to join my forum too and it'd be appreciated!
forum/The-Book-Guys/7093/

Mr Theory