|Reviews for Insurrection|
| Social Anxiety Lives chapter 1 . 4/29/2013
The first line could be stronger. A stronger beginning makes the reader want to continue. I am dying to know more about this book. Perhaps another stanza on it? Try to enjamb the lines a bit more. It'll create a smoother read. My favorite line so far is "Red blood, mangled with words". Try and create those short almost meaningless phrases that taste like honey when you read them out loud. The ending seems a bit rushed. I wouldn't worry about keeping the poem at a certain length. Write some more and let the ending come naturally.