|Reviews for Define Legal|
| renegade01 chapter 4 . 7/20/2014
Love this one too. I love how sneaky and tempting Isaac is ;-) I'm glad Evangeline gives as good as she gets. I look forward to reading how the bet unfolds ;-)
| Prodigee123 chapter 4 . 10/19/2013
| bonghi chapter 4 . 8/8/2013
I have just returned home from the seaside (or hellside as it cannot be hotter in hell) and has been rewarded with your update. It is as good or better than expected and I dropped everything and will be unpacking as soon as I am finished here.
| Cyh Scaevola chapter 4 . 8/6/2013
Yay, new chapter! I would have gotten to it much sooner, but I was busy trying not to die of plague...
Okay, so it was a sore throat, but it felt like plague.
Anyway, I really like all the details in this chapter, and I love how strong both Evan's and Isaac's personalities are. All those little tidbits about Evan's family were really interesting, especially everything about her sister's marriage horrors. Man, I can't even imagine living a life like that. I don't blame Evan at all for ditching that train wreck of a life.
I'm a little bit miffed at Isaac for being so rude to her, and at Evan for totally caving to his dominant display, but whatever. It suits the tone of the story, and Evan's a bit of a masochist anyway. *chuckle* It was especially nice to get so many of the gaps filled in concerning what the heck Isaac was doing before showing up full-force.
I would have punched the dude for hiding my dog, though...assuming that I had a dog...
Man, now I want a dog.
*ahem* My tangents aside, the only real editing concern for this chapter would be that you should give it a read-through and find all the present tense bits. If you were writing in present tense, I wouldn't bat an eye at it, but it seems that this story should be - and mostly is - told in past tense. Even when describing everyday details about the room or personal preferences, Evan should be using past tense. I know that this is a first draft, however, so it's all good. I'm enjoying the story regardless, and I can't wait to see where all of this going.
Now, how about another chapter? Because I want to know what happened to Grimace. Like, super bad. I also want to see how Evan handles the wacky situation that's about to ensue, but the dog takes priority.
Also, I'm not sure if I've already said this, but I love the name Grimace for that dog. It's so...perfect. XD
| Violet daughter of Percabeth chapter 4 . 8/2/2013
sorry I was slow reading the last chapter. I didn't realize that you posted. I love this chapter! him in bed with her was so funny! I loved dark Isaac! I loved the glimpse of submissive Evan! I loved their deal! I am sorry but I don't think there is anyway she can make it! I like that Isaac is a good balance between dark and caring. I am not as fond of stories that the relasionship is all lovey dovey and there is no darkness! I love it!
| Violet daughter of Percabeth chapter 3 . 8/2/2013
I love it! I love how you brought the mofia into it! it may of been cheesey to you but I didn't think so. I love grimace! he is soo cute! I love Mel and how close she and Evan are. I love Isaac! he's so dark but yet sweet that it always keeps on the edge of my chair! you are such an amazing writer!
| WhispersInTheNight chapter 4 . 8/2/2013
Again lovin it! I am very interested in finding out how Isaac plans on getting Evan to well um. . . How he plans on winning "the bet". I will always love what you write. You are a kick ass writer and i must say i love the dog. Any story with a cool dog is okay with me.
| Luna Schlee chapter 4 . 8/2/2013
it's positively perfectly epic in which and every way!
| bonghi chapter 3 . 7/26/2013
A unique story. Very interesting and unusual. I love it and hope it isn't dead.
| Soggiest.v2 chapter 3 . 7/23/2013
Isaac and Evan have a very push pull relationship, haha. Evan just wants to fuck and Isaac wants her. I definitely did not expect this kind of background, but I think it would have been a good idea to mention somewhere about her French background- maybe having an accent? I thought she was just American.
I love stories like this that involve crime/mob stuff. It's like my guilty pleasure. I'm excited to see where this goes but I'd really love to hear about some of their crime movements, but it'd make sense if we didn't because Evan wants to stay away from that stuff. I feel like it'd make her crime background a bit more realistic. Oh, but that does explain her tendency to go straight for a gun in her bar!
That brings me to to Evan herself. She's all badassy, but I feel like her love to be dominated comes from that too. People are often like that, they like having someone who can control them because they're so strong witted themselves.
I like Isaac too because he's so smooth and sexy and RUSSIAN but I know so little about him too. Now that he's back I assume it's for a while, so I expect to hear more. :) I also I feel like the year jump was quite long. It makes me wonder what he was doing in that year though, if Evan's mother had sent him, where was he for that year?
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| InkHound chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
I couldn't help myself and ended up really enjoying this particular work, even if it has yet to be finished.
The story is a bit rough in spots, and it wouldn't hurt to read the whole work out-loud so you can get rid of the mangled sentences from time to time. For the most part, you rush through all of the content, it's just one thing after another, broken up only with brief summary skims of 'what happened while you weren't looking'. I can understand a desire to do it in order to keep pace with the story as you view it; but with writing. when you want to write anything with intensity (no matter which emotion you're trying to invoke or convey to to the reader), you've got to slow down and flesh out details, even the small things. For they lay down the groundwork for developing a very anxious, excited reader who simply can not stop reading the work.
It's agonizing and you'll catch yourself hurrying the words along, but it pays to take a breath, and focus on giving more details that build the world around the characters and make each scene that much more powerful.
I look forward to see what you do with this work, and thank you very much for sharing!
| Cyh Scaevola chapter 3 . 6/18/2013
Dammit, I was supposed to be editing the next chapter of my thing, and then I glanced at this and somehow got dragged in. You're truly merciless! *laugh* These chapter titles are just inspired. I'm so glad you left that review, or I might never have found this.
I'm only three chapters in, but I'm good and hooked, so please make more. I know from horrible experience that random story ideas and plot bunnies need time to knit together properly, so don't worry too much when things are only slightly out of joint. You've got a plot brewing that has the potential to be amazing, and characters who are simply fun, so just go for it. Write a whole mess of chapters and then read them in sequence before deciding to post. (It's so much easier to smooth out the wrinkles that way.)
In the meantime, the readers have excellent characters and lots of delicious...things...with which to occupy themselves. *grin* Granted, those won't carry you all the way to the end, but you write so beautifully that I'm sure the plot will work itself out as long as you feel inspired.
Anyway, carry on. I just wanted to blurt that out there and see if I could poke a little more out of you. It's 4:39AM and I still have a chapter to edit. *cringe*
| DreamsOnlyLastForTheNight chapter 3 . 6/17/2013
Thanks for the compliment! My username actually came from lyrics from a song. Anyway, this chapter has definitely tied up some question I had going on. So Isaac is a mafia guy who wanted to be a therapist? Definitely interesting to say the least. Again, I like the cutthroat personality that Evan has. I definitely don't think the mafia thing is too cliched. I mean, the Mafia is a cliche as far as romances goes but I think you're the first story I've read on here so far where the girls actually knows she's part of the mafia and is actually strong and intelligent (instead of weak and naive). So I really like that! Update soon! :)
| chaosinchains91 chapter 3 . 6/17/2013
Very interesting twist at the end of this chapter! I loved it! Can't wait to see where the story takes us next. Your description of the characters are fascinating. Brady sounds like a real prick. Following this story can't wait for the next chapter!
| Violet daughter of Percabeth chapter 2 . 6/15/2013
I love this! OH MY GOD! I HAVE TOO HAVE MORE OF THIS! PLEASE! Please tell me what happens next!