Reviews for When I Saw Her
MayaLala chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
You have a lot of potential. My recommendations are as follows. Descriptive imagery, find some. Scene set-up, where are we? Watch how many she's or he's you repeat, especially in the same paragraph. Also, vary the diaglogue so it's isn't always in the same position. Sometimes reading other people's work helps with this as it is a hard thing to explain.

Your story is good. The bones. The fact that you enjoyed writing it shows. These are only recommendations. I realize most people on here are not here to learn to become better writers and without knowing you, it's hard pressed to see what you're trying to do. But, I think this is a solid piece of wrting.
i heart music chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
This is so good. Like I can't even explain. So good :)
my-flawed-fairytale chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
That was beautiful.
forsakenConceptualist chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
I... honestly can't even express how I feel.
This story was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
Thank you for writing it. I'm glad I was able to find it and read it.