|Reviews for RED|
| Nyx Nuit chapter 2 . 9/11/2014
Okay, may I first say: good plot idea. I've seen a lot of 'girl accidentally summons demon' stories, and this one is decent. It started off juvenile though, the whole 'It was a normal Friday night until...' thing kind of irks me, seeing as it reminds me of something an eighth grader would do for a creative writing class. But that's mainly a personal issue. Good conventions, I don't believe I saw a spelling error or a misplaced comma so well done.
I believe, it would have served you a lot better if you had built up to the ultimate reveal, make it on the border of agonizing as to get the audience's adrenaline going as they read. Laying it out all in one go kinda takes the fun out of the building exposition, but I suppose you'll spend your remaining chapters building up the relationship between your heroine and the monster. It's still in the beginning so I suppose you'll be building up your characters, giving the audience more background on Gran and so forth. Overall, the material is good.
| LittleNeko23 chapter 1 . 10/12/2013
I absolutely loved it. The hide and seek alone game is something I've been fascinated in (although now i won't do it!) and currently writing for also. I hope Cerise is alright!
| IfYouSeeKeii chapter 1 . 7/24/2013
Got goose bumps while reading this! You should, I mean you must update soon! Good job! :)
| InkHound chapter 1 . 6/19/2013
I'm familiar with the premise so there wasn't any of the regular questions rolling around in my brain as I read. While the writing style is sparse and fragmented, it still read incredibly well and I found myself getting hooked in the story and feeling more nervy and anxious as Cerise progressed through the game.
I certainly enjoyed the read and would like to see more from it since it feels more like the beginning to a longer story of woe and trouble for Cerise than just a one-off.
The work could have benefited more and become even more of a thrilling and intense read if you fleshed it out more, by giving some surface details to the surrounding elements to illustrate the eery quality her surroundings take on as the game goes, drawing out the period in which Cerise waited in the closet, growing bored, and then scared.
Good read and thank you for sharing!
| Cyh Scaevola chapter 1 . 5/15/2013
Holy...that was fantastic. I actually freaked out there! That David Bowie remark was hilarious, too, and the little twist at the end was nicely executed.
Also, I like the "Hello Cerise" bit. XD If that wasn't a Hannibal Lecter homage, I don't know what is.
Yeah, some of the stuff that Japanese kids think up is a little too edgy for me. Heck, I could barely handle Bloody Mary when I was a kid. They make for excellent horror, though.
Totally faving this.
| Viking Berserker chapter 1 . 5/14/2013
I trully enjoyed this story. it was well written with plenty of tension build up for the good scenes, now i am not the greatest for correcting puncuation and spelling but as far as i could tell they where fine, but grammar is small time stuff. What matters is this is a good piece of work.