Reviews for Gifted (draft)
Kitty chapter 41 . 8/3/2014
I finally finished this story.
It was great I enjoyed every moment of it.
Although I was kinda sad to see it end :(
that is until I checked your profile and saw the sequel,XD
I'll be sure to review it when I get a chance to read it. I hope Thomas and 265 will be ok
Bmonti chapter 41 . 5/17/2014

I Wana know whats going to happen i want Carey to like 265 i want to know more about that other guy that Jan kissed. Carey needs to see her brother again! I want 265 to grow taller. If 265 dies i will haunt your dreams or spam your Pm box... with cryptic messages like like.. 256 is B E F... lets see of you can figure that out... oh wait maybe i should try a dif approach if he lives i'll give you a cyber cookie *waves cyber cookie in front of your face*

Its so dramatic i stayed up till 4 in the morning cuz i couldn't stop reading.
i love how your characters each have there own personality its a well written story.
its too bad the story is finished i would have followed it but i guess faving it and u will have to do also going to follow you like a stalker waiting for the sequel.
Does Sam have a thing for Jan? its seems like it at times... or is Sam secretly a boy...mmmmm she kinda reminds me of a anime character at times..
I love 256 he's my fav character second would be Sam then its a tie between Jan and Carey
Do you have an idea for when you'll put up the sequel? id really like to know how long id have to wait... it be awsum if this was turned into a manga if you had a good enough artist then i think it would do really well even getting its own anime and i knew 803 was Sam's dad from the moment you introduced him...ok maybe not that soon i knew it from the time he killed that woman thats when it clicked i feel sorry for him he dosnt know that Jan's mom is dead...wonder what he'll tell the counsel about 265 hopefully he'll give them enough time to escape.

Ohh yea i almost forgot at the beginning when you killed of the first two characters the guy who played music and the shy girl i think you should have made the reader like them more like have given the reader more time to get to know them that way when they die the shock of there death would have been so much worse and given more emotions so the reader could actually feel the pain of the other characters who survived

think this is a long enough review and i hope you answer my questions, i will most likely read some of your other stories to try and fill the hole
kaeris chapter 40 . 5/1/2014
this was very touching!
i loved it!
i hope he's okay...
pleaaaasse pleaaaaaasse don't make us suffer!
as fast as you could... we want the next chapter...
i freakin' love this story
Guest chapter 39 . 4/19/2014
took me a while to finish all those chapters!
but i enjoyed it! man
i loved this, please hurry with the next chapter. i can't wait. :D
this was beautiful. it really was
i loved this i loved your action scenes you're not one bit bad at it, you are very very awesome at it
i have to admit :)
you have talent :)
MoonlightSunlightEclipse chapter 4 . 3/10/2014
I really like this story. You are lucky to get so many reviews. I have like three total! I am putting a no exceptions to having a few reviews before posting new chapters.
Chie Wisdom's Daughter chapter 28 . 2/28/2014
Nice chapter. I like the back story.
Guest chapter 19 . 1/25/2014
MORE! MORE! MORE! You're an amazing writer and I can't wait for more I started reading this at midnight and just couldnt stop!
leafshadow chapter 6 . 8/13/2013
I really enjoyed this chapter! :) You have built some momentum in the plot line so it is very engaging to read. The opening scene was very well written (it was so graphic you managed to scare me!) . I also like how you are developing the relationship between Carey and 256. It seems like a natural progression, rather than being forced or cheesy. You have impressive skills as an author! I look forward to reading more!
leafshadow chapter 5 . 7/16/2013
I loved the plot development in this chapter! It left me really wondering what would happen next. I look forward to reading more! :D
leafshadow chapter 4 . 6/25/2013
Ooo so exciting! It was very well written. :) I can't wait for more.
leafshadow chapter 3 . 6/10/2013
So exciting! :D You have me hooked, I want to see what happens next! It was very well written. I look forward to the update. Hahaha 256, I like how you made him intimidated by Carey. XD
K. King chapter 2 . 5/27/2013
I think the scene with the innkeeper could use a little more fleshing out. It was a bit unclear. But overall you have a very interesting plot line building up!
leafshadow chapter 1 . 5/24/2013
I really enjoyed this story. The plot was exciting and creative, and the writing flowed really well. The idea of 'gifts' is very cool, I'd like to read more about them. Your use of descriptive language also enhanced the reading experience. As for how it could be improved, I found that the term 'unGifted' sounded a bit forced. Especially as this is the fantasy genre, maybe you could make up an idiomatic word to refer to it, like how 'muggle' is used in Harry Potter. Also, in the first couple of introductory sections, I liked your description of the parents and how it established Carey's situation. I thought this could be developed even more. In school I was taught to 'show' rather than 'tell' in creative writing. Maybe you could develop some of the family relationships so the readers connect more with the characters before you introduce the conflict. These are just ideas though. It is already very good. I look forward to reading more. :)