Reviews for Possibility |
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BaconDesturctor chapter 1 . 9/1/2013 This seems slightly cliché. Its not badly written but I feel like I've heard this so many times before. Awkward teenage girl/boy has crush on popular person of opposite sex. (S)he is in a relation/social rules mean that they can't be together... but could it be that (s)he also has a crush on awkward main character. Blab Blab Blab, they realise their love and become a couple. This story seems very simile, but with the end removed. Though I will say that it is not badly written. The plot just seems a bit dry. |
The Little Blue Fairy chapter 1 . 5/28/2013 Hey, great story- I think I actually listened to that song before. It's a great plot! I think you should redesign how you've 'placed' (for want of a better word!) their conversation. It looks like you have what she is saying and what he is saying together on the same line-it a little bit confusing because in certain places its hard to tell who's saying what. If you start a new paragraph(?) (I think thats what you call it..I can't remember right now-bad aye!) for each ones response it would be alot simpler to understand! Anyway great job-cant wait to read the next chapter! |
Bell333 chapter 1 . 5/28/2013 I like it :) Thanks for the review on my poem! |
riverstardust chapter 2 . 5/27/2013 O.O is there gonna be a chapter 2? Aww I was hoping for a chapter 2 *pouts* |
riverstardust chapter 1 . 5/27/2013 Ive never read a songfic before (this being my first!) But I must say I did enjoy the read! Lol they looked at the shows genre I watch anything, be it gore or romance! Catalina sounds evil *shivers* ill also have to check out the song tomorrow! (My cousin is sleeping and the room has to be silent) |
fantasybookworm2012 chapter 1 . 5/25/2013 Reminds me of the song "Teardrops on my gutair." by Taylor Swift. The quotes are a little confusing but the premise is very interesting. Short and sweet, I liked it. |
ForeverSunshine80083 chapter 1 . 5/24/2013 ClimbUponYourStar, Oh, unrequited love. How I hate thee. :( But seriously, I enjoyed it! I like the way you started right in the middle of everything without taking too much time to relay what's going on and who everyone is. The problem with some short stories is that people get too caught up trying to explain everything, when in reality, it's just SO much easier to see for yourself. "Show me, don't tell me." As my dad says. All in all, it was adorable and sad at the same time, because I can relate so much. It sucks. So bad. The whole, he-knows-you're-looking-at-him-but-doesn't-see-the -smitten-expression-on-your-face thing. Guys can be so dense when it comes to love. Lolzz The only thing I would keep in mind is whether you're writing in past tense or present tense. The difference between jumping and jumped and said and says. But honestly, it was bittersweetly cute. Keep writing! -FS80083 |
Osobliwosc chapter 1 . 5/24/2013 Hmmm... What to say. All in all, a fairly well written story. A bit sticky with cliché, and some of the dialogue was choppy and/or unrealistic. However, still pretty good. I'd say you've got potential, but need improvement. Keep up the good work. |
Muse of Heart chapter 1 . 5/23/2013 Well, I've never heard the song and I don't have the time currently to look it up, but I certainly liked the story. Very relatable for most people, including myself (though it's also quite different in my situation). The grammar and spelling were good for the most part, and it was short and sweet. Really nice :) |
TheFrayna chapter 1 . 5/23/2013 This is rather well written, albeit a little cliche. It's not really the sort of thing I read, but I rather liked it. Keep writing, experiment with styles and themes. You have potential. |
Ren the Wolf chapter 2 . 5/22/2013 I thought this was a good story. And you nailed public school life mostly. :) Good job. -L. Mercy |
jouheki-chan chapter 1 . 5/22/2013 that was cute, hope is the last to lost after all so is good that she keeps being optimistic. even if the possibility is so small is better than nothing. and about my story the princess (i'm telling you here because i can't send private messeges yet) you said you didn't undertand the end, well, ok i know it can be a little confusing, it's because i didn't want to make it to obvious, is just that the "princess" that was with the earl was really the prince of the kingdom. that was the reason of the prince not paying attention to the other princesses, because he was in love with his cildhood friend, the earl. and they were running away because well, i'm not sure what the king would think about his only son and heir being in love with another man XD. is clearer now? oh and thank you for your corrections in "the doll" i already corrected it |