Then came the splash, and within a second, blackout. [I'd suggest actually putting in a page break after this to emphasize the black out even with formatting]

I didn't like that you switched between present tense and past tense throughout the story, it made it a little disorientating and I would really suggest sticking to one and keeping it that way - preferably past tense, because that's what the majority of the narrative is. But some sections like this are in present:

[There are exceptions. I have killed people before. They have asked me to kill people before. And I'm not a killer. I feel horrible after those missions.]

This should be: [There were exceptions... I felt horrible...] etc.

Also, I would suggest not writing with so much passive voice, which I found a lot. And I was wondering if maybe the above would even feel less formal if it was jut, "I've killed people before. They've asked me..." because it might sound a little more natural, kind of like the dialogue, which I liked.

I thought the opening of this was great though, it did a really cool job catching my attention and it was really action packed, which was also fun. I thought you did a good job handling the action too, because the pacing worked super well and the whole situation was exciting. It really fit with the action genre! The pacing after the first black out though went a little quickly. I'm wondering if maybe more page breaks after the summarization of "I did all of this as I was recovering" would break it up well too and maybe even slow down the pacing a little because it will visually show us breaks in time. Just a suggestion!

The rest of the story was very jammed packed too, which I liked because it continued to keep my interest. The build up tension to the end was good too, and I thought you handled the dialogue well and it felt realistic! Good job!

I really like the concept in this-the idea of the 'distractor-in-chief' is very original, and definitely an interesting thing to base a story on. However, I'm not sure how keen I was on the execution-this is pretty much all action, and I think it could stand for a little more calm exposition.

I don't really like Lorenzo (and seriously? Lorenzo Smith? Matt Damn, you love referencing Language) deciding to expose MAIC at the end. I feel like the decision was a little rushed, I didn't think you had enough inner conflict for that. You use actions to show that it's hard for him instead of thoughts, and while that's good sometimes, I just...didn't think it worked here.

Also, the coffee shop thing was pretty ridiculous. I don't think that was good or bad...it was just...ridiculous.

But good work anyway:) You're a great writer, I'm glad you're my idea monkey.