|Reviews for Awakening|
| Scattered Memories chapter 1 . 4/23/2014
This is getting really good. The last couple chapters were a lot better than the first few.
| Louise chapter 1 . 4/6/2014
Story sounds interesting so far, This first chapter as a reader feels a little rushed after he leaves school.
I think there is a lot more information you can still add to this do you want the reader to get out of it? To remember these characters or introduce them to Parkour? Im not sure here?
For me I have no idea what Parkour is so maybe a bit more depth on that would be great.
And describing what the cop looked like, the fear the character had, smells sounds all help to give more of a sense of the scene and surroundings, helping the reader visualise better if they have never been on a construction site and what type of beams are good for Parkour? Also if these characters Mike/Chance are going to be important to the story later on you may want to spend a little more time filling the reader in on why there important to the main character.
It just rushed by which makes them seem unimportant. Do we need to remember them and if not what was the importance of this chapter.
Hope that helps!
| Scattered Memories chapter 2 . 9/2/2013
Are you planning on writing more?
| ThievingCrisis chapter 1 . 6/5/2013
I'm enjoying the story so far! It's wonderfully written and I didn't find any grammatical errors I especially liked the analogy of the rain in comparison to Chance "…it forced the rain to move, to fall away, just like me." Wonderful line! You also have a great sense of sensory detail. I could clearly picture the images you described. And certainly kudos to Chance for practicing Parkour! I really enjoy watching people who participate in it, the original assassin's of Assassin's Creed. I would also like to add that I can't help but adore the meeting and friendship between Mike and Chance. Mike seems like such a caring and pleasant guy! Already felt a tinge of sadness for their goodbye.
I'm certainly looking forward to more from you! Keep up the great work!
| DesiRide chapter 1 . 6/5/2013
Keep writing! :D