I really enjoyed the internal struggle that Gabriel is going through. I don't know why but I've really latched onto him as my favorite character. There is just something under the surface that really fascinates me. I can tell at this point if I should take his action provocatively or not (not a bad thing) the story just hasn't defined itself in that way yet.

At this point I would like a bit more from Adrianna's character. I feel like she's just going with the flow and experiencing the motions but I don't really have a clear sense of her disorientation. I would imagine that at this point she would be overwhelmed with it but I'm really not getting that feeling.

Juliet.

I'm liking the story so far. As I mentioned before I think plot and character development are both really good.

I think you are doing a great job at showing the struggle between all of the characters and their motivations are all very clear.

I'm very curious about the world that you've created and I think you've developed just enough to entice the reader but not overwhelm them with too much information. Great job so far.

Juliet.

Haha I'm loving Gabriel.

Right off the bat I loved the interactions in this chapter. In particular I think you did a great job with showing Adrianna's confusion and curiosity in regards to her situation and Gabriel. I also liked the contempt and anger between Sear and Gab.

Nothing really stood out for a critique - I think the plot and character development are moving along at a steady pace.

Juliet.

I'm not entirely clear on what's going on, but I think that's intensional, and not a bad thing.

I Think it took longer than necessary for the chapter to get going. You spent a lot of time introducing the scene, but it didn't come across as naturally as possible.

I like Adrianna so far, she's a likeable character and she came across believable. I also like the creepy vibe that I'm getting from the stranger.

I noticed a strong mirroring effect between this chapter and the prologue in terms of what's going on (not a bad thing) but it really makes me wonder if Adrianna is the 'she' from the prologue.

Juliet.

Really good start here. I'm liking the contempt and concept of revenge that you are working with here. I think you set the stage nicely and I look forward to seeing what builds off of this scene.

I suppose I didn't like how your characters were just 'he' and 'she' I would have preferred names and it does appear that they knew each other so I think it would personalize the brutality more.

I also thought that the transition from grabbing her to 'raping' her was a bit abrupt. I think this moment could be smoother because at this point the reader doesn't know what to expect, and although I wouldn't say I was surprised I was taken aback by the suddenness of that transition.

Juliet.

I love Avion :) keep up the good work with updates, I'm looking forward to more!

:( i want to see her back with Sear... lol but still thanks for the chapter gosh im so excited on who bought her :D update soon please !

Welp that was yummy. Not for her obviously, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself :) I still can't believe your detail; it's amazing. And this new character...I like him.

I don't know if I'll review in these next few chapters since I'm already dying to continue, but we'll see...

Hopeless

Way to grip a reader. I'm afraid I can't spend much time on this review, for I need to continue reading, but this chapter was absolutely fantastic. The detail is haunting, gripping, and enchanting, and the entire chapter is so suspenseful that I had to take a deep breath at the end to calm myself. But I must continue! See you next chapter!

Oh gosh i love this story. Hehe omg i hope she finds Sear ! :) Anyway i will continuey reading. :)

Still loving the story ;) I hope she meets back up with Sear soon, poor girl :/ so evil to be put in that position
Looking

Another good chapter! This was definitely a twist I didn't see coming.

I hope a good demon, not Sear, is the love interest in this story. I find demons more appealing than angels.

Loving the story so far! You are doing good with the grammar too by the way :) keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next chapter

This story is great and wonderfully written. Your imagination is remarkable. Can't wait for the next chapter. Great job!