|Reviews for Million To One|
| Mokii chapter 1 . 5/26/2015
So we have a post-apocolyptic story now, do we? I haven't read one in a long time, mostly because I haven't seen one.
The main character (just realized you haven't introduced the name yet) seems like a normal civilian who just got killed and is now in limbo. For a second, I thought he was God who destroyed the world, possibly by accident, and had no way of explaining it.
I really like how you establish his character by having him 'talk' to the audience. I almost see him for now as a meek, confused chafacter. Probably because the world ended out of nowhere and it took him a while to realize. Can't wait to see how you develop his character because according to the summary, he's going to be thrown into a dangerous game.
The only suggestion I have is you might want to establish a clear setting more in the beginning. I can see you started to do that in the end, but it might be more effective if you had some description in the beginning. Doesn't have to be overly descriptive, but enough to give off an atmosphere.
Be careful of the comma after the dialogue, it's not needed. It's okay, I used to do the same thing.
Hopefully I'll be able to review another chapter or two before the week ends. :)
| Madcinder chapter 6 . 5/26/2015
I hate doofus AI players.
I also expect Aeolus to be proven so wrong about so much. I mean, first of all, if it really is God or anything even remotely comparable, there would be no limit to how many teams of three could be kept track of at once.
And I now have the theory that Jeanne is behind it all.
I also doubt each team is necessarily limited to three people.
And without a doubt, all three characters have some horrible hidden secret that... well... the truth will out.
| Vio the Wandering Lover chapter 3 . 5/26/2015
Camera...lol. Anyway, he's taking it better than expected but then again I generally believe some people would be that way. "Well, it happened. Nothing I can do about it by complaining." It shows he's pretty level headed which is a definite plus for his character. Nothing to say about Etoile yet until I see more of her. I'm starting to get a Gantz feeling from this story now though.
| Nori-san chapter 2 . 5/26/2015
Your descriptions are not bad, though like the previous review, I'd say that the chapter is too short to actually fully enjoy the story. And there's still nothing much answered here. The time travel plot does induce some interest in the middle, but other than that I'm surprised that the character was still passive about the time switcheroo. I mean, he could've reacted a bit more, like search for clues or newspaper or something to try and get his sense of time right. However, he dusts it off like it's normal for people to enter his room to prank him. That's how I feel anyways.
And if I remember correctly, my officer used the exact words 'alea iacta est' to me before, though the translation would be 'the die is cast', so I'm not sure if 'let the games begin' is something he translated off those words or did it just enter his mind like that? I was thrown off over there so there's that. Second chapter in and still do not know his name, I'm actually curious to see just how much the world has changed once he steps out of the area.
| Nori-san chapter 1 . 5/26/2015
This chapter proves to be an enigma that doesn't really tells you what the plot is. A lot of questions, and the monologue felt a bit weird, or maybe it's just me. I just find the '...' a little too much, and because of that it really drags the story down, but then again it could be that you're trying to show the character's indecisiveness as well. A little too short of a chapter to grip me in right away, but then there are still questions to be answered, so that's about it for this one.
| Vio the Wandering Lover chapter 2 . 5/26/2015
Heh I like this main character already. I did expect him to be upset over losing his save files on his games from the week he lost. Lol his sarcastic attitude just makes me expect that. His reaction to the situation isn't all that unbelievable. If he thought it was a little more than a dream then when stuff starts going haywire then he can panic.
| Madcinder chapter 5 . 5/26/2015
Really, the answer of who they are really dealing with could be someone with a God complex, or literally God, and anything in between. Where this person actually is on that scale, I will have to wait and find out.
And there is always the possibility of some extreme form of time shenanigans where the person responsible is actually himself after winning the game and gaining time powers.
Anyways, throughout this chapter I noticed several spots where what should have been separate paragraphs were all smooshed together. Two, sometimes all three characters talking all in the same paragraph. It looks so far like I don't have to tell you what's wrong with this, so I'm betting on FP's silly formatting messing with what you wrote.
| Vio the Wandering Lover chapter 1 . 5/26/2015
Hmm a very interesting and pretty entertaining start. Lol but I thought the door would have simply said "Uno Mas!". I love time travel stories so I'm looking forward to this. Gonna try to finish the next chapter before I start work.
| Madcinder chapter 4 . 5/26/2015
Ooh, I love challenges like this. I assume, of course, that they get tougher as we go. Definitely an exciting chapter. Figures, I guess, that they would have to solve a history problem in the history classroom. And now I have to wonder if Jeanne has also been selected...
I learned something this chapter, and you can be sure I have those dates committed to memory. Now, onward to find out what they are going to ask for, as I assume they get to choose collectively.
| Madcinder chapter 3 . 5/26/2015
Sounds like that room sucks.
Half of me believes Camera's assumption that Etoile has also been selected, but another part of me feels like she just got a random phone call.
I can't really comment much on how fast or slow the story is going, because I don't know how big it all is just yet. The pacing is good, and it's generally an easy read, but I feel like things are going to pick up soon. i suppose I'll find out.
| cmaej chapter 3 . 5/25/2015
I knew guy in the hood how always took vids and pictures. We called him Kodak. *w*
So I'm guessing those who went to this party were chosen for the game. Or only the ones who used the hot tub time machine. /punted
Camera sure doesn't seem to give a damn about his time travel. He's appears to not be in denial, just nonchalant. There's not much emotion him, compared to Etoile, who is in a wreck.
No one on the second floor? Huh... I'm beginning to believe that Camera hasn't literally traveled in time, but is stuck in a separate dimension where that particular moment in time is being replayed. BUT THAT'S JUST A THEORY!
| Darth Zannacross chapter 1 . 5/25/2015
Well, ending the world in the first chapter is rather gutsy, though some guts points are shaved off for switching things around in the storyline, oh well. Well, things are a tad erratic at the moment, not even sure who the main lead is but, I get that he has a strong will to live.
Well, sounds promising.
| Madcinder chapter 2 . 5/24/2015
Time travel, always getting in the way of my normal days.
Well, sure I can figure out a few things just from this, but there's no way I can guess at what's coming. You've definitely found the hook to give. But I still have no clue what's going to come out of this.
However, I will note the date is... telling.
| Madcinder chapter 1 . 5/24/2015
5/5 for honesty.
An intriguing start to be sure, and it does well enough to hint that there will be answers to some questions somewhere down the line, which is good. If I got the feeling from it that those answers wouldn't come, I'd probably skip out. How long it takes for the answers to appear is a different matter, and entirely up to the writer. I want those answers, though. I will find them.
Good job here. I always wanted to read this story, however much I doubt I'll make it through the whole thing in one week, but rarely had the time and presence of mind too. Now I can sit down and explore this strange new adventure.
| r3dacted chapter 39 . 5/9/2015
I dunno what to think. Dem phresh beatz tho *noods head to fresh beatz*
Dem fourth wall breaking (on ocassion).
Eh, I can't think of anything somewhat entertaining to write, nor do I feel like writing my reaction to several different things to give feedback, but I will say that it was pretty smart of the team to wait and not get involved in White Rose's fight with Brown...Cedar was it?
Ah, Brown Cepes. Had to look back for it. Guess they didn't really need to wait for a good moment to capitalize upon and strike either.
I didn't think Simon's backstory would be what it was. GG.
...It should've been an anvil. just sayin' /stabbed
And perf timing with Camera spilling the blood of a foe for the first time, I'm somewhat not surprised he wasn't that panicky, but surprised he wasn't freaking out bad because he wasn't freaking out. erm, if that makes any sense.
I guess we have various possibilities for the reason why this Etoile is being friendly to the team. what with FLO and all dat. Or she could be faking.
Then there's all the stuff like amnesia, time travel/screwing/manipulation and alternate realities and holograms and other stuff, so I'm not even gonna bother trying to predict it and just enjoy the ride.
...then again, it would be quite the twist if she was the one who was the one who wasn't the one who was. And just back to her cheery self cause she threw a tantrum and keeled some bots.