Reviews for The Observer
PotterPower chapter 1 . 6/28/2013
-I think the last line could be stronger if it read "Without a face, without a form." The current wording can imply you mean without a face, it is a form.
-The imagery in this is really good; I enjoyed it. It's really strong right from the start, and I liked the first two lines and the bit about the ant.
-I think it could be improved without the capitalization of all the lines. It's not a big issue, it just seems to me one of those small things that could improve the poem. "Trimmed" probably shouldn't be a capital, "In," "Illuminate", etc. It would also emphasize the lines which do begin with capital letters.
-I think seeing snippets of things is very good in the poem. It's powerful and I think your punctuation makes it even better. Your hyphens add emphasize and in the areas with little punctuation there's a slightly faster pace which suits the poem.

Overall I really liked this poem, I think you're a wonderful author. :)
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 6/17/2013
I think your closing line might be a little stronger if you changed it to "without a form"

I'm liking the kaleidoscopic patchwork imagery that you have here. With your mentioning of "lens" in your opening verse I automatically envisioned a camera and all of the corresponding lines were reflects from a picture.

The poem was short but I feel like the length suited it. I didn't get the sense that it needed to be longer or should be longer or that anything was missing or out of place. You presented a strong idea and saw it through to conclusion.

Juliet.