can'te wait till next chapter

Omg both this and the last chapter were AWESOME. I like how they've finally really accepted Victoria! I'm soooo excited for this date!

Jonah Genius! I can't wait for their date!
I've read several stories where the main character is the only girl in an otherwise all-boys school, and they're hard to pull off - you have to do it really well for it to work, and my opinion of your story is that it's been done brilliantly. Even though I highly doubt this would ever actually happen you make it seem realistic and the characters are all very interesting.
Keep up the good work, I can't wait for the next update!

Go! Go! Go! Go! You can update! You can update! Soooooon!

I'm loving it so far! Cant wait for more. I hope she ends up with Adrian.

Hullo! So a couple of things I wanted to note: the story is really good so far. I'm really enjoying it. Keep up the good work! That being said, there are a couple of things I want to mention to you to make your writing better. First: you overuse commas. A lot. This is probably the first time I've seen anyone overwhelm the comma, as most just ignore its use entirely. There were a lot of instances where you would have a normal sentence and then break it up with commas in places where it made reading awkward or unnatural. The issue has definitely improved in the later chapters, but I think that's probably something you should start to focus on when you're writing. If you're having trouble or unsure, try rewording the sentence so you don't have to use commas.

Another thing I noticed was that you seem to use the word 'lightly' as an adjective in a lot of places where it shouldn't be used, and also in abundance. Using it once or twice over a long stretch of writing is fine, but using it so often that a reader remembers and goes "Ugh, not ANOTHER one" when they see it is maybe a little bit too much. Try to come up with synonyms. For example, you could use gently, easily, moderately, faintly or any number of other adjectives besides lightly.

Speaking of, I'm not sure if you're looking up synonyms for other words to spruce up your writing, but there were several cases where I had to stop reading and go "I don't think that word means what you think it means" because they were used in the wrong context. For example: you commonly say that a character or group of characters "reside" to somewhere-like Victoria to her desk in one chapter. I think you meant to say "returned to her desk". To reside means to have a permanent home or residence somewhere. It's very awkward to understand when you say that someone resides at their desk because that implies a number of things that aren't true and can confuse the reader. I think this was the biggest concern when it came to mistaken words, but I do believe there was at least another instance where the wrong word was used to convey the meaning of an action.

There are a couple of inconsistencies between what you say happens and what you describe happening. In one scene, you have Victoria eating an apple on her way to her lunch table, and when Ace (I think) comes to talk to her, he notices that it's untouched. That doesn't make sense. When Victoria makes team and Johan comes to congratulate her on it, you have her smiling at him and then acting indifferent without an explanation. We can guess it has something to do with her tumultuous relationship with her dad (which is later confirmed with Mitch and Jonathan), but it's not immediately apparent and reads like she's haughty. I think it would be beneficial for you to start writing more explanation of actions and thoughts immediately before or following lines of dialogue. Not all-just where it's necessary.

The final thing I wanted to mention was that, in some places, you seem to skip tiny parts of the story (especially in dialogue) and not complete a sentence properly so the readers are left guessing what you might have meant. There were a couple of sentences where someone started to say something, paused in the middle to specifically identify a person or group of people, and then didn't complete the sentence so the meaning was clear. This is a weak example (because I couldn't find the last one I remember seeing which was much more prominent) from chapter 10: "I can assure you that, but only towards some of you," she looked back at Tanner, "the others not so much." This doesn't make any sense. She can assure us what? Okay, in context and in a round about way, it does sort of make sense, but it's incomplete.

I think the best thing for you to do is to start to be more self aware about what you're doing and maybe get a really good beta reader/editor who would be able to catch all of these things and help you work on them.

Please don't take anything I've said as a personal attack: I'm only interested in seeing you improve as a writer.

Thanks for the read,
- A.

Please update more soon. I'm guessing their Dad is going to be the coach for the team they are supposed to go against. Am I right?

ahhh Jonah knows! Cant wait to read more! Update soon!

Update please

The humor is hilarious. I love it. And ooo I feel the story is just getting started, haha. Well update soon ! xx

Jonah is confusing me so much haha! I like her happy!

Noooo! I offically hate victorias dad! I hope he leaves!

I'm so glad that she had Mitch! I don't know why her mother is letting the father harass her like that smh. What are the sunglasses for?

Good chapter :-) I liked the twist you added with the decision-making. As always, looking forward to more! & Happy Birthday :-)))

Update soon!