|Reviews for Halloween|
| Morrie Moon28 chapter 1 . 10/29/2018
good story thnx for sharing
| Jes the Dino chapter 1 . 10/23/2013
I liked it
| Ventracere chapter 1 . 7/13/2013
It's an interesting quick read, and I'll admit, I've never really heard of New Yorker's Talk of the Town before, so I don't know the style. That being said, you can ignore my suggestions as you see fit.
You do a good job in the beginning to set up the setting and the descriptions of the characters, but try to show your readers a little bit more of what you picture the party to be like. What you already have set up already helps set up a good idea of what you want us to see, but it's blurry. Maybe you want it to be focused a little bit more on the different aspects like the chaos, the outlandishness, the lack of space, etc.
Quick note - good job on staying in the right tense!
This may be because of the style, but your pronoun - "we" - throws me off a little bit. Are just setting up as if the party-goers are talking as a whole, or just a specific group? And this may also be intended - also goes along with the first suggestion/thought, I'm kind of reading this like it's from a objective, news report sort of way. If you're trying to engage the reader a little more, add more descriptions that a reader can draw in, like smell, taste, touch...
Overall, good job! It's been a while since I've read anything that has to deal with Halloween and it's fun instead of a spooky one. Nonetheless, it's definitely intriguing; write on! :P
| JenWriting chapter 1 . 7/7/2013
Woo go Obama! :L I really like your description. I can imagine everything as it happens. It flows well and was a good read! :)