Reviews for The Wide Room
Naver chapter 2 . 7/21/2013
The young smiled making sure his distaste was conveyed in his speech as he continued to lead the girl through the empty hall. - young man?

Why had this gotten so scary all of a sudden? Why wouldn't the young man let go of her hand? - Put this in italics. I think it would look better.

"Macbeth, I didn't know you were such a bad girl." - PREDATOR! I mean wait, what? I love this guy! Favorite character right here.

The mans voice had strange echo behind. - man's instead of mans... maybe at the word it at the end.

It made it feel like the girls ears were bleeding from the high pitched sound. - girl's instead of girls

"Who dare bother the Kaiser's rest ? Zarzuela, Rabialthani kill the intruder!" - Ooh... it's Rabi the way..

POP! Several bugs ripped out of her skin crawling all over her body. - Holy ****! Don't look at his face!

"So who was the client this time, Frazier?" - Hey before (over top) but a line or character to show a scene change.

"There were two today. I don't know 'bout Alec's but mine was a naughty teenage girl."- And his creepiness continues... I like it.

He felt like ignoring he, but that would get him no where. - Change he to her... unless he is ignoring another man... or a drag queen? What?

"First off, I'm not interested in kids. Secondly, the money amount is always confidential." - Haha. XD

As he began his response, the woman sat up in her sit with her arms crossed. - Change sit to seat.

She had to admit she was a little exited- What? you mean excited, correct. Change it.

He never got why she was so exited over this stuff. - Second time, is it autocorrect? excited not exited.

On reflex Frazier shot out his hand as well, and punched her. - He didn't! I love this guy! :D

"What are you trying to pull? You should know stuff like that will not work on me! Besides, as I said before, if you want to see it fork of the cash!" - Ooh, that's what you were saying. So yeah. Of to over. Yups.

Ah! I love this story! :)

Aren't they the cutest - I'm lying- couple. e.e

"Jackpot." - Aren't you a swell guy? ;)

This is damn gruesome. I love it.


I liked it.



-Thanks for sharing
-Continue to write.
elie chapter 1 . 7/20/2013
Wow, this sounds like it's going to be really interesting. I'm hoping to read some really good horror stuff. Waiting to read more!
Naver chapter 1 . 7/20/2013
The ending of this chapter made the story. I loved that. Your summary was intriguing too! -

Can't wait for more...

"What does the man say..."

I liked Alec's double personality. ;)

-continue to write.