|Reviews for Hidden Within Shadows (影の中に隠さ)|
| Sebastian's Kat chapter 3 . 8/10/2013
So she's faking her death huh? Interesting...
| FtXNn chapter 1 . 8/8/2013
I'm drawn to this story. I have high expectations :D
| Sebastian's Kat chapter 2 . 7/28/2013
Oooh! Drama! And mystery! My two favorite things!
| Sebastian's Kat chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
I like how you formed the paragraphs and introducing the characters _
| voidscorpenomega chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
I see potential in this story. The individual scenes that showed seemingly unimportant peple was nice. I shall look forward to the next chapter.
| Unxious Custard chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
Hi, I like the basis for your story - the never dying. And like the way you start your story, with a poetic piece that least the reader straight into the idea. Watch the spelling though. Unfortunately, bucket, and escapes. The smell inside had been a little over whemling for her, but the nice cool breaze that brushed her paled felt nice; calming. I liked this sentence, (a few more spelling problems but lets ignore those) because it described her feelings. There might be a word left out thought after pale (face, hair?) The first part of this chapter was a little confusing, as you jumped from one person's point of view to another. I always think it best to stay with one viewpoint at least in the first few chapters, as your readers get used to your characters. On the plus side, in this first section, which felt more like a prologue, the way you intersperse explanations with actions is quite unique, and I enjoyed it. The second half of this chapter had just the right balance of description mixed with emotion. It was much easier to read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The word that left my mouh burned a hole in my chest and I had to reach up to make sure I was still whole. Why did that name hurt me so much? Why did thinking about it hurt even more? A great sentence. It told us how it felt, and told us that she didn't know why it hurt so much. I liked the ending too. A nice hook to this this chapter. Well done, and keep writing - you have a good sense of rhythm, and you tell a great story. I hope you will return the review of my story - Psychics v Terrorists, which is set in England and is a modern fantasy.