Reviews for Adam and Evan
MK chapter 2 . 5/23/2016
Similish is a very good touch. Everyone (most) can connect with sims. Brings a good nostalgic happy vibe. Honestly, Im trying to nitpick but so far, real good. Everything blends seemlessly and does not seem forced at all. Ill have better luck on the next one.
MK chapter 1 . 5/20/2016
Love this, tried nitpicking but can't really see anything to nitpick.

What I like most is that you introduced a sad situation but still introduced some humor into it so it doesn't feel like you're trying to milk the readers empathy by saying bunch of sad stuff. Adam is not looking for pity which I like.
InsanityAndBeyond chapter 11 . 9/8/2015
I cant review on the sequel so posting here. It's been more than a year since we've seen adam and evan and that makes me super sad.
Maybe you've flown off in your tardis and gotten stuck in a parallel world but I do hope you find your way back to update.

Also, I think fictionpress has changed its formats again so your links in your profile, eg to your tumblr, just lead back to your profile page.
2oclock chapter 11 . 3/7/2015
Thank tumblr for the link to this amazing story. As of now, your story has been me procrastinate three times in the past two days. And I am so tempted to go read it again but alas life calls at the moment, so that must be postponed. But I'm not too busy to not go check out the sequel right now haha.
Melissa chapter 1 . 3/5/2015
Hey! This is Melissa from a fiction reviewing site called A Drop of Romeo. Just wanted to let you know that "Adam and Evan" has been reviewed for the site. Congrats! Here's your review:

Adam has a condition that makes sure he never sees or feels the sun unless he wants to die, or melt as the characters joke. He's been holed up in his basement playing video games and sitting in the dark for years now. His parents are dealing with their own problems—too selfish or grief-stricken to pay any attention to Adam. One night, however, a stranger tries to break in through his bedroom window. The stranger's name is Evan; this is where the story begins.

I didn't quite know what to think after finishing "Adam and Evan". I was certain that the story was distinct, both in it's plot and characters, but was unsure of how much I liked it. It was only when I gave myself some time to process that I realized just how exceptional Adam and Evan's story is. It's narrated in third person by Adam and let me just say the prose is amazing. Not because of an exuberance of flowery description or elegant diction, but because of the charming voice that the author possesses.

SenatorBlitz writes brilliantly in a style filled with the comical thoughts and interactions Adam has. Not only is "Adam and Evan" funny, but it is also serious at times—exploring Adam and Evan's relationships with their respective parents and tackling the poignant topic of Adam's disability.
whotevar chapter 11 . 1/11/2015
Beautiful everything: Characters, plot, progression, and narrative. There was one chapter towards the middle-end where the narrative was a bit forced, can't remember where, but the rest was beautiful.
Aki1 chapter 1 . 8/5/2014
HELLO :D Continuing our little review-trade, slowly but surely :3.

Wicked opening right out of the gate. The writing is very tight here, and perfect for a prologue. I'm always a fan of stories that open right into the thick of things, so although this whole section was, understandably, a build-up to the main narrative, it pulled no punches pacing-wise and I really liked that. I liked how frantic the paragraphs describing Adam's birth were, though this part - 'And the doctors lost their shit because panicking was supposed to be their job' - gave me pause. Did you mean panicking was *not* supposed to be their job, or was I reading it wrong?

Anyway, aside from that, I enjoyed the dry tone that this was written in, because the themes were so dark but the voice lightened it up and made it lively. I seem to recall one of the cybersheep trio having a medical background; might that be you? :D I just noticed all the medical terminology here, and how they were used so confidently.

Adam has parent issues! I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 11 . 7/6/2014
I’m emotionally exhausted, so this isn’t going to be a long review, but I’ve made it through this story and it’s been a lovely ride (see last review for gushing comments and al). Admittedly, I wouldn’t have needed this epilogue at all, because the last chapter was enough for me to be emotionally satisfying, but I do like this little addition, because it’s nice to *know* that those kids are going to be alright. It's nice to know that Adam has moved out of the basement and that he’s finally embracing life in a way that is worth living. It’s nice to know that he and his father are making a start – and that things will finally be alright. It definitely put a smile on face, and this epilogue made me feel a bit less upset :3 I still think you could have left the story where it was though, without the epilogue because it was a powerful statement on its own, even though it felt substantially darker (but with the sequel and all, I think this epilogue adds a nice touch, and it nicely ties in with the first chapter as a comparison/definite ending).

Things I especially enjoyed were Adam’s parents acting all sillyish and being a bit suffocating – like Adam’s mother or just plain awkward like his Dad. I know parents like this (haha, my own XD), and it was just adorable. It’s a huge step from the first chapter, and I think that this chapter overall contrasted very well with the first one. Adam is more colourful now, more alive, and I got write you an entire novel on why this is great, but it just is. I think it’s important for readers to see that characters have grown: it makes the journey worth it; it makes you feel like you’ve indirectly contributed to the growth by wanting to see the tale unravel. I really liked that awkward, but sweet moment between Adam and his father a lot when they bonded over the books :3 That was genuine and touching :3

What else? The Evan and Adam bonding in this chapter was cute: I’m glad to see those boys happy :D And I’m really grateful for this journey you led me on. If am cutting the review short now though, it’s because I need to rest from all the feels I’m having XDD.

But you are brilliant, and you should be very proud of this story.
Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 10 . 7/6/2014
…I think I’m going to take another two day break in between reviewing this and the sequel. Though I’ll possibly review the last chapter of this, but wow. Just goddamn wow. I don’t know if I want to *cry*, laugh or smile, or just all things together. I told you before – this story affects me in a lot of ways (and in many ways a lot of stories, I’ll be frank here, don’t affect me at all over at the RG). So, I’ve always identified a good piece by how messed up I feel afterwards, or by how much I want to write afterward, or just how adorable I think something is – your story has fulfilled all criteria so far, and I really love this. And I’m going to use my fave button to demonstrate just how much I do. Just …this is was so, so beautiful ;_;

Let me first of all comment on how realistic this chapter was: I’ve said it over and over again, but this chapter was just the most realistic thing I’ve ever read. I felt Adam’s uneasiness in this chapter, I felt his fears and his anger, and I think my heart broke for him and with him as he tried to reach Evan, but didn’t, at first. I think we’ve all been there, yes? We all know what it’s like to have someone be angry at you when you just want to reach out and hold onto them forever. Still. I thought this whole set-up was lovely, about how you showed Adam’s carefully planning everything (the Sam/Kyle thing was a bit rushed and random, but eh, I didn’t mind too much since I quickly caught on that it was all part of Adam’s ruse to get Evan into his room) to really standing there and not knowing how to react.

Anyhow, what I felt was really brilliant in this chapter was Adam observing Evan so carefully, and noting how quiet the other boy got when he was angry. I think it showed, yet again, how observant he is, and really felt realistic too, because I’m one of those quiet-explosive types myself. And I have known others who are like this too. Anyhow, this chapter – I felt you did both boys a lot of justice. I think it made sense for Evan to get mad at Adam for running away when he’d shared something important. I think it made sense for him to misunderstand everything, but have this one important point: you are worthless if you are not living your life to the fullest. I really thought that his rant had a lot of good points and explained a lot of things about his character. He’s afraid he’ll die, and he’s scarred by his uncle’s premature death. He might be self-destructive and terrified, but I do love how he embraces life itself. I just think he needs someone to even out his energy.

And that’s where Adam comes into play. Oh Adam baby, you’re so precious. I just loved how he made Evan aware of how close he’d been to dying, and how that rant in itself made Evan wake up to the fact that Adam’s life came with an expiration date. That was terrifying, honestly, and I felt my throat getting tighter here, because I realise that for Adam life is …short, and yet…he’s happy about what he currently has, with Evan. And while that is beautiful, and I cheered for him stating that he was happy living for the moment, I just thought how utterly shattered Evan will be once he loses Adam. That hurt a lot ;_;

Still I won’t deny that the ending to this chapter was beautiful, with the implied sex and those two boys just realising how much they needed each other. I thought it was beautifully handled and it really made all the previous angst and build-up so worth it, really really worth it. And I think you’ve not realised that I am effectively just a pile of goo, then you should by now.

This story gets much love from me.
Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 9 . 7/6/2014
Wow, this story makes me feel really tense – my nerves are all frayed, and I actually feel really edgy, because of how emotionally involved I’m getting into this. In all honesty, I’d buy this story in a heartbeat if this were in book format (and any of faerie’s too), because of how delightfully well-written and gripping this is. I really don’t know what to tell you, without either leaving this mish-mash of fangirlism or wannabe philosophy, but one thing I really do want to comment on is the honesty of this story so far. Especially this chapter.

I think what really got to me here is the discussion Adam and his mother had on everyone being just a bit broken and cracked, and – because all people are cowards – not liking to be reminded of it. I think that was a great moment, because I am sure I’ve thought of this somewhere in my life, especially about two years ago when I was chasing after self-destruction and eager to explore all kinds ways to come close to tasting my breaking points (nothing terribly wild or so, but enough to really learn a lot about myself and the ways I’d always balanced the supposed act of stability and being broken). Didn’t mean to go TMI, but really that’s how much you’re affecting and how much I feel this story comes close to embracing the very nature of relationships and people themselves: we’re not attracted to people because they are beautiful or smart or unattainable (though of course does are important), but because we see a hint of vulnerability there that belies the mask of perfection a person might otherwise have. Knowing someone means knowing those hidden depths, loving someone means being able to handle them (and not run away). So yeah, I guess I’m disappointed Evan ran away, but then I can understand *why* - even if it’s upsetting.

SO, the interaction between Adam and his mother was fantastic in this chapter: delightfully, morbidly funny, because it was awkward to hear her talking about how her and Adam’s father got together, but also very honest in a way. I liked that she admitted to her own faults and flaws – it made her come across as a very human character. She’s not a perfect mother, but she’s a lovely character, because we can get where she is coming from, and there is room for development. There’s a hint that she wants to change and is willing to help Adam confront his own fears too. I love too how she’s not a stereotype: she’s not too much of a smothering Mum, and she’s not the obnoxiously over-supportive LBGT supporter Ma either, but just a woman who wants to see her son happy (and will make anyone pay who dares to hurt him).

Haha, I love this notion of them making Evan pay – I can’t help but wonder what it’s going to be like :3:3

ETA: Adam's father - I feel his character has been well-fleshed out in this chapter, but I'm still not happy with how he's behaving, even if his younger self sounded hot. Somewhat O_o
Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 8 . 7/6/2014
I've been so bad, sorry! But I actually wanted to return to this chapter when I was in the right state of mind for it - so those reviews will be coming, but I want them to proper ones :3 Soo, this was a really lovely chapter, like all of your chapters, but this was one was particularly uplifting - and sad. Sad because, I think, for the first time we get an actual acknowledge of Adam’s that he is lonely: he might not confront or admit that directly, but I feel that, towards the end, there’s this realisation that he just cannot isolate himself forever. Everyone has a breaking point, and I feel Adam’s was losing Evan. I must admit that makes me feel sad, because I can relate to that kind of knowledge, and I know how saddening such an epiphany can be, so this conversation between Adam and his mother really did strike a chord in me.

Also, the scene between Adam and his mother was beautifully written out, especially because it came across as very delicate and not heavy at all. I don’t know how you manage it, but all of your dramatic moments come across as so subtle and light, without ever losing their tenseness or seriousness. I think it’s this interplay of fluid writing and just the right amount of detail – I must say it’s amazing and that it really makes me love your writing. What I particularly enjoyed were Adam’s observations on his mother, like how she was high-strung, but soothing as a person herself, because of her shyness and timid nature. I found that interesting, because it’s an oxymoron in itself, but realistic – I’ve met people like this before, I’m sure of that. I also liked the observations she gave – like Adam seeming stronger and her being proud. I really felt that she was trying to reach out to him here, and that was lovely.

The rest of the chapter was upsetting, like the instance of Adam lashing out at his therapist. I thought it was saddening because you could feel his pain, and the scene really depicted the rawness of his emotions, the extent to which he had been damaged. No one deserves to be called a freak, and I think it’s telling that he still feels the extent of Louise’s betrayal. Little thing I found interesting was the focus you gave us on her long legs and perfume – it makes her come across as sexually desirable and kind of ascertains that Adam notices *people* (he is an artist, after all :D).
ArgentanHeart chapter 6 . 7/2/2014
I thought Evan was a little too forward with Adam's father (and Adam's father was a little too forward with everyone else too). It felt almost too out of nowhere. But I guess that's also a very teen aged way to go about things. It seems like a bit of an elaborate plot. I wonder if he wanted to get into it with someone but Adam;s mother was being too nice...

I liked a lot of the more subtle parts. The idea that Adam's mum thought it was for an imaginary friend, but still threw a whole party anyways. The idea that Adam wasn't sure about where all of Evan's scars come from.

I really liked the "we're boyfriends?" part. I had that happen. I remember with the first guy I dated someone was like "are you both boyfriends" and he was like yes. And I was "we are?" and I was all happy-like. And then he broke up with me that night (after like 3 weeks). Now I'm going to go cry in a corner now.

Great story!
Jitterbug Blues chapter 7 . 7/2/2014
You are such a tease XD. I was expecting sexy times at the end of this chapter, and then – BAM – lemon XD (though in ye olde anime fanfic terminology, lemon did mean ‘smut’ /random). Anyhow, I giggled at this – I really did, because that was a hilarious way to end this chapter. I'm glad, in the end, that they didn't have sex at the end here: it would have been too cliche, too expected and just damaged things for them (since I don't think it would have been fair to Adam to have sex for the first time under such circumstances).

But wow, I really did love how you led up to this scene: the writing in the moments before Adam lunged at Evan were beautifully written. You had such creative lines here, so many things I want to memorise and fangirl over later because THAT registry (you use astronomy and computing language and ...I love you. I just do. Keep up that unique tone, because it really makes *me* want to write more original stuff, just to see if I could create something half as beautiful as you do with your prose). So yes, beautiful writing :3

While I don't encourage drugs and underage drinking (not to say that I'm a prude! XD I just think you should be responsible), I give this chapter incredible kudos for describing the sensation of being drunk so accurately and realistically. It's hilarious to see Adam being so silly and giggly, especially because it reminds any reader who's ever been drunk of how incoherent you get when you're pissed (XD. Why are handcuffs called handcuffs? They cuff hands! Golden XD). Yeah, I just laughed a lot - it made me think of a lot of things, and that was 333. I'm reserving any command on drugs, because well I'm no authority on that and never plan to be.

I just feel what's important to say about this chapter is that I appreciated Adam (especially Adam!) and Evan just being young and doing silly things - like exploring drugs and alcohol to deal with their respective issues. I felt that this chapter showed for the first time how young Adam is, and how desperately he wishes to overcome his fears. I kind of want to hug him now (though Evan, too, for having been in so much pain once) .

You know, I think I’m gonna end this review here, because suddenly I’m feeling a lot of things (sad for Adam who is trapped in this awful house, with those awful parents and has nothing to make his life brighter but Evan). See this as a testimony as to how much reading this affecting me :3
ArgentanHeart chapter 5 . 7/2/2014
Aww, you can't leave the chapter off there! I want more!

I do like the way that Evan is pushing Adam to go beyond his boundaries. Although I do worry what type of role model Evan is. I don't think it would be great for Adam to start jumping through closed windows or trying to go into the sun.

I'm still a little meh about the product placement... we're on the ps4 now after all :P

I really like the use of language and pacing. It reads very natural and human. To this end, you use sentence fragments to create a strong sense of immediacy and naturalness.
You use description sparingly, but effectively. The most salient examples are Adam's mother from the prologue, and Adam feeling the ground beneath his feet (although the topless Evan in this scene wasn't bad either). You build good character moment and good visual moments.
Jitterbug Blues chapter 6 . 7/2/2014
Oh wow - this is intense. And now I've been slow, but the reason is I don't want to speed-read through a story like *this* - it detracts my enjoyment, and that's not fun for anyone :). Anyhow, this was intense, and *wow* I'm not really sure what to say? O:

I mean I was expecting some awkward-bizarre dinner scene that acknowledged how strange it is for Adam and Evan to have such dysfunctional families, but this actually got far more serious than I expected. And my hats off to you - because you actually made me feel a lot of things here. So for starters, I hate Adam's Dad - I'm not saying Evan's Dad is better for hitting his son, but I feel Adam's Dad is an asshole too for emotionally neglecting his son, and not even feeling ashamed about it. It's horrible that he is smart enough to acknowledge that Adam has been involved with Evan, but will not make any effort to communicate with his son or whatever. Gawd, I actually wanted him to be throttled by Evan's Dad or something. And I must say - Evan is awesome for standing up to those adults -

Because, if you think about it, adults are often to be blamed for making things awkward or ruining their kids' lives, and I really think it was great that we finally had a *teenager* acknowledge that. I just have to say that this was an awesome scene. Anyhow, Adam's Dad is an asshole. He should fry in hell. As for his mother - hmm, I'm on the fence. She clearly means well, and she's not quite stable, I think? But I still think it's awful that she and Adam are so distant from each other - the passages about them being quasi strangers were sad and bizarre at the same time (I generally like how dark this story is, but how it seems light because of how you balance prose and introspection - it doesn't make the story any less dark though, because when shit hits the fan, it really does). I am still hoping for a reconciliation though, because I think Adam's Ma is far more willing to actually change than her husband. Besides, it's not like her husband is a great man either - I think she's just as broken as Adam and suffering just as much.

But yes, the dinner scene was great - great at the start with the awkwardness and intense at the end with all the reveals and such. I cannot say anything else, but just powerful writing all the way here :3 I also really enjoyed the reveal about Evan's uncle - it explains things, and I feel it shows that he's just as broken as Adam is. I hope they can fix each other a bit :3

OHHH. The kissing sense were lovely in this chapter. I just feel the need to comment on this, because I’ve been focusing so much on the darker aspects that I nearly forget. I like how Adam is slowly opening up to Evan, and how you can tell that he’s also most definitely sexually interested :D I love his shyness (but I feel that’s not going to last forever XD). Anyhow, I felt that the kissing/adorableness at the beginning of this chapter really helped to offset the angst later. I really liked the gentleness in the ending because it makes me hopeful that those two kids will be alright :3
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