|Reviews for The Wish of a Fallen Star|
| xxxyx chapter 3 . 8/16/2013
Hm... here goes, third chapter already. Either you're a faster author than I expected, or I've lost track of time.
Ah, I like the way you described with detail the sensation of regaining consciousness.
Hmm... so overall, she lost her memories? Was that it? I wonder at how you will relate Mile's storyline to Violet the princess. Good job stirring up the confusion in the reader, later comes the next challenge, which is, clearing away the confusion you had created masterfully. So good luck with tying the loose ends together.
As for rushed, yeah, there are bits and places where there are minor typos and the kind. Maybe.
As for my opinion, it took me a few seconds to realize that Laen was the same boy mentioned in last chapter, and that it was still Mile's timeline, and not some other, what with the sudden introduction of newly named characters, like Drianna and Mr and Mrs Jonor right after the page breaks. Maybe the introduction could've been made smoother. But maybe it was just me.
Keep up the good work!
| xxxyx chapter 2 . 8/9/2013
I guess it's an interesting bit to note that you give us a vague idea of what might be going on, although, it only fills the reader with more and more questions. Which is an indicator that you have a plot in mind, and knows the basics of how to unfold a plot, so good luck.
So far, vocabulary is okay, just some sentence structuring, word usage and the kind, but no matter.
My guess is that Mile was mistaken for the princess and taken in the care of the palace, but that's just a guess. I can say more, although just in case my guess is completely right and spoils the story... hee. :P
As for the length, no, I don't think it's too short. To me it's okay, because it's actually more tiring to read long chapters online as compared to reading on paper. Although yes, I know some very good authors posting chapters more than 10,000 words long online, so in the end it all goes back to the quality of the writing.
| xxxyx chapter 1 . 8/5/2013
It's interesting enough. Well done. Yes, your writing style could do better, such as descriptions, sentence structures, etc, although that comes with practice and experience, so write some more. You have what it takes to write, and I won't dampen that by pointing out every tiny mistake.
I'm just a little bit confused on the scene where she met her brother. Who's talking which line?
Other than that, if you already have this story's progress in mind, put it in writing. Just assume that there are readers anxious to know more.
Cheers and good day.
| Kaliskia chapter 1 . 8/4/2013
Damn, I can't wait to see how it turns out :)