Reviews for The Books of the Gifted
Oo Silver Galaxy oO chapter 3 . 8/18/2013
Reyna-14-Hephaestus:can summon machines.
The Dark Squire chapter 3 . 8/12/2013
This is an awesome idea first of all. I can't wait for more :D I love your writing style; it feels like the characters talking to me! If you'd like some tips though, I'd suggest using other words than "said" It gets really repetitive.
Also your rushing it a lot. I want more of your story! I want to get to know your characters, the world, and everything else. Take some time to describe more detail. Not everyone with blonde hair and blue eyes looks the same. Describe their body, their voice, their aura. (someone whose big and loud has a completely different feel about them to someone whose dangerous and dark or loud and obnoxious.) The more space you put between events to give your reader some time to breath the better!
Give your story the breathing room it deserves :D Plus the longer the chapters the better for your readers, right?
I'm not going to pretend I'm a professional, or have any real good idea about what I'm talking about. It's much harder to write well then to critique. But I would love to see this story do well here.
Loved the story! Great idea. With a story line plotted out, the hard parts done. Good luck