Reviews for Master Gamer
cmaej chapter 2 . 5/29/2016
I’ve never seen such a shameless and blatant self-insert.

Kyubei was ham to the end, even in defeat.

The more you talk about how American Gomer is, the more I think of that TV series, Kappa Mikey. Now I must wonder if Kyubei will indeed make a return and join the team and be the group’s “Gonard.” He was honestly a lot of fun, and I hope to see him again.
cud-b-better chapter 2 . 4/25/2016
I love the constant trope piss takes especially the idea that the heros are a hell of a lot younger in these types of plots and that beating people makes them your friend. A good idea but I feel you'll run into a wall if you keep it solely using gags.
hazelnutbrew chapter 2 . 4/18/2016
This was an interesting chapter. I liked the showdown between Kyubei and Gomer. I also loved the exaggerated yelling that Kyubei did when he lost the pattern recognition game. That was pretty hilarious, I chuckled. Though I find it interesting how Gomer was summoned to this place, and then we discover the backstory for the grandfather and Yoshino. I loved how you called it being 'banished' instead of 'killed'. Dat 4Kid's censorship. Also, Doug seems to be rather interesting as well-can always relate to those author characters. A nicely written chapter, of course, and I enjoyed myself. Keep on writing!
hazelnutbrew chapter 1 . 4/14/2016
This was an interesting story, and I believe that it has a lot of potential! There might be some things that need to be cleaned up, but I think that you've got a solid story here and I've enjoyed myself. I always find parodies a fun read, and I think the fourth-wall breaking and the antics between the characters and the author were pretty funny! I love how they managed to land in an animeland type of Japan with crazy hair colors and whatnot. Classic anime. And hahaha, the censorship. This was a fun romp, and I liked the characters that you have presented thus far. There was a lot of fourth-wall interjections, but I didn't mind them and found them to be rather delightful. You have a knack for a humor, and this is a crazy off the wall series that i could get into. Good job, I think that you've got something going here!
Innocent Larry chapter 4 . 4/11/2016
Well that escalated quickly. I want more. Now. Please. :3
Starart152 chapter 2 . 1/22/2016
This is another funny chapter with good humor. I like how you parodied the anime and how it works in Shounen. The main character is too old to be the hero in the Shounen, but he was still picked up.

You are really annoying in this chapter since you are Doug and like to make the MC life hell, in a way. You put him in a situation where the love interest is a Yandere (Not to the extreme for now) since there isn't any other girl around the Yandere would try to murder.
Starart152 chapter 1 . 1/20/2016
The first chapter is really a nice one. It was funny the way the characters to describe by the author and the main character. I like the strong humor between the characters and the author.

My favourite part was when Gamer argued against the author with the many details until he pissed the author off and end up with a tail.

Other than that, I don't see any problem in this chapter.
M.R. Hill chapter 1 . 9/9/2015
-BUWA HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW! Piros, Piros, PIROS THE THIRD! …Aright, that opening brought back memories for me.
-Alright, the joke about going to the beginning and going back way too far actually got a snicker out of me.
-Who’s, not whose.
-I like the idea of no 4th wall with things & it’s been quite some time since I’ve seen the rage against the author trope used.
-[Something told me she got more than her fair share of restraining orders, and she was well on her way towards getting another one.] This is a good place for showing instead of telling because I absolutely lost his train of thought. What about her made him think she had restraining orders? We’re given nothing to create any judgments of our own off of.
-I wasn't sure what to say. On the one hand, she was prettier than almost all of the girls at my school, but on the other hand, she seemed to be completely insane.] Another good example of the above. What makes her insane? This comes off as forcing the interpretation and working with unstated assumptions that we, the reader, is on the same page as you.
-[zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Adorable. You do know more than one letter.]

Alright, just wanted to highlight that this amused me.
-Japan being stereotypical anime land amuses me a little, it makes me think of this show called Kappa Mikey. Anyway, I’d use two more details beyond their hair alone to say it’s weird beyond belief so as to get a clearer picture. All I’m able to picture is the hair alone.
-["You do realize that your hair turned teal, right?" I asked as she innocently began crushing my ribcage.] You can make it just “she asked as she crushed my ribcage.” Adding began adds nothing to it and more better to just get on with it.
-Are you speaking in past tense or present? Your narration keeps jumping between the two.
-Alright, the joke with having failed to describe yet was amusing and a good payoff actually to my previous thoughts about using missing the detail there.
-[Not Reaper snickered, while Creepy Girl kept pulling on my tailOHWHYISTHEREATAIL?!] This is a good example of what I mean about your narration jumping between past and present tense. When you’re having Game’s reaction to things, that’s an immediate response in the present, which clashes with all the uses of past tense.
- ["I don't know…" Creepy Girl pouted as she puffed out her cheeks. "You already broke that promise twice."] And this part you could drop saying she pouted as the dialogue speaks for itself. Just put [“I don’t know…” She puffed out her cheeks. “You already broke that promise twice.] It reads sleeker. You generally should go with either a dialogue tag or a character beat.
-["I'd let him go. He's using science here." Not Reaper chimed in. At his insistence, she let go of my tai-BELT. She let go of my BELT! "Of course, if he gets off the train now, he might run into the local gangs."] And formatting here, make clear that it’s Not Reaper speaking after “I’d let him go”, so it reads “I’d let him go,” Not Reaper chimed in.
-["Yeah." Creepy Girl said somberly, acting more serious than I ever thought possible.]
["Say something." the other guy urged in a hushed tone.]

Use commas, not periods!
-["No way. She creeps me out!" I argued back quietly.] …So he argued quietly with exclamations?
-Reason given that he’s the protagonist and has to funny, Psych reference not so much.
-At about that point I feel this has been dragging on and I’m getting bored reading it, so I start skimming very quickly just to get this over with. So yeah, at around here you’ve started losing me.
-Alright, the handle of the cliffhanger was funny thing there.
Final Assessment: You’ve a great comedy idea here thus far and I like your use of breaking the 4th wall at various points, but this is in a very, very rough state right now. Try applying the above suggestions to really help it out more, both to those places and others where they’ll apply. I feel this has potential.
Darth Zannacross chapter 2 . 9/8/2015
The Self Awareness is strong in this one, but the tact is not as Doug fell rather quickly, doh.

And then, things suddenly became retro Yu Gi Oh, well, guess it gave them a path to victory to say the least, I think that's the most extreme Simon Says I seen.

Well, this story is, quite crazy, I wonder if we will reach Bobobob levels at this rate.

So, this has been a crazy ride, till next time.
Darth Zannacross chapter 1 . 9/7/2015
And so we have the Master Gamer, related to the Game Masters show? Guess not lol. This guy was isolated just because his dad was a clown? How stuck up this town? Either way, this story seems to go by a erratic first person tone, oh well, seems like a good kind of crazy.

Kind of hard to get a grasp on things, maybe once Crazy Girl gets a name things will be more clear, and then we do get a name, Yoshino, not bad. And Kickboy, I wonder if he is Kick-ass's cousin? Lol, in any case we will see how much of a mess Kyubei is going to cause.
cud-b-better chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
Okay, well I felt the breaking of the fourth wall although a nice touch was used a little bit too often and it made it a little more difficult to follow the story. But I did like some of the random dialogue like not wanting to use the kill word. For some reason that brought up lots of random thought with overseas censorship.

Finally I guess (cuds random point) for some reason the title of the first chapter egged me on to listen to the phineas and ferb song of the same name on youtube (I'm sad in that way).
sonicmaster102 chapter 1 . 5/9/2014
I really like this story and where it's going. It looks like it will be a really big hit when it's finished! The characters are all pretty awesome with thier personalities and such. Amazing job!
Sepha chapter 2 . 4/20/2014
I think I got slapped across the face by the god of awesome…

Your story is beyond great. I really like it and think there should be more stories like it!
5 out of 5!

Your characters are great; we've got a hero, a yandere, an old man, and the author! Yeah!
5 out of 5, again!

Writing is pretty good. It could use a tiny bit of work, but it's still of higher quality than most stories.
4.7 out of 5!

Your story's earning a 4.93 out of 5, with a recommendation to favorite it. I love it so much.

*claps* Bravo.
cmaej chapter 1 . 1/7/2014
What kind of forth-wall-breaking train wreck did I just read!?

I've honestly finished reading days ago, but I didn't know how to comment. I can definitely imagine the random guy screaming, "Oh, my leg!" when the other guy threw his scythe away. I love how you made the crack about the exaggerated hairstyles some anime characters have.

This is the classic American kid's perspective on Japan.
Y. S. Wong chapter 1 . 10/21/2013
Ding ding ding we have a winner! This... is a lot different than Bladeless. Micah writing crack. Interesting.

Well right off the bat, your author's voice is a lot different than the one you used in Bladeless. That may actually be a good thing. Bladeless' voice was a little bit more high-strung and rigid, whereas this one is loose, free, and utterly devoid of any attempts at seriousness, including wanton breaking of the fourth wall.

It's hard to take anything here seriously. I do question why it's gotta be the cliche Western protagonist coming to save Japan of all places, but well, you were clearly on crack while writing this. As ridiculous as everything has been so far, I can't help but see a little bit of Yugioh in the premise.