|Reviews for Blue Moon|
| AlysonSerenaStone chapter 1 . 5/25/2014
I loved this! I love Solitude's Howl!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
This is a wonderful piece. It’s written really well, and I like how you have the speech as poem-like, as it adds a sort of fairy tale feel to it. Descriptions work nicely, couldn’t spot any errors and the writing itself, the style, really adds to that magical, fairy tale sense to the whole thing. Great stuff.
| Daten chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
Hello from the Roadhouse!
Whoa! This was pretty refreshing to read. Generally I don't like poetry, but the rhythm in this piece really flows nicely and does not mess the result. I liked the surprise to see the character was a girl, since I was pretty much convinced it was a man until the moon talks to her.
The scene where the wolf almost starts howling but the moons tell her to keep quiet was deftly done, congratulations!
| UnderMySkin93 chapter 1 . 10/4/2013
This is so great! I really love how you were able to tell a whole story in poem form. It never ceases to amaze me how talented some people can be when it comes to rhyming and rythm (though, that is certainly not one of my own talents, sadly). I also love how descriptive you were, I can rarely mentally paint a picture of a scene from poetry, but yours was easy to imagine. And, on top of everything else, you added werewolves to the mix. Werewolves are always awesome (actually, any form of supernatural species is awesome.) I hope my feedback can encourage you to write more short stories like this one, because I think you did a marvelous job! Keep writing!
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 10/4/2013
Hello from Roadhouse!
I think it's been awhile since I've read and reviewed any of your work, so I was excited to read this and see how it might be different from your older writing. I think you pay really close attention to detail in this story, and it's really effective considering the content. The imagery of the moon and the woods is particularly powerful, and I love how you pay such close attention to the wind. That sense of touch is done really well. I do wonder, though, if you could have tossed in a few descriptions of smell, since wolves have really sensitive noses. Especially when it comes to the main character biting the hunter and spilling his blood.
One of the images that I particularly loved was near the middle when the main character pauses and sees the moon, then has to stifle that urge to howl to it. I am wondering, though, if the character in this is male or female. I don't think that really impacts anything - I see a lot of emphasis on "brothers" so I'm thinking male. It didn't really bother me because this felt like a song or hymn that should appeal to both genders, but I just wanted to point this out in case you did want the reader to get the image of a male or female in their head. Considering wolves look pretty similar either way (at least, i think they do, I'm not a huge expert on wolves, haha) I don't think it hinders the ability to picture anything.
I really enjoyed the rhyming. I think you do an excellent job of not making it feel forced. I was really impressed by the time I got to the end of this. I know how hard it is to make things rhyme without hurting the story itself, and within the first few sentences I feel like i really got the rhythm down and was able to read it really easily. So great job with that. It's always awesome to see people experiment with things and pull them off successfully. If you do decide to use this for your other story, I think you could always just summarize it into a smaller poem and then maybe keep this as the larger story behind that poem? (Just an idea.)
I didn't realize the main character was a werewolf instead of just a shape-shifter until he bit the hunter and there was mention of a curse. Which was cool, because I like the surprise. Though I wonder if someone like the MC who seems to worship the moon and be totally in the werewolf mentality would view it as a "curse" and not a blessing? Or maybe he's just seeing it from the human's POV, and how humans would view it as a curse instead of something good?
Anyways, great job. I overall really enjoyed this, especially for the imagery and the rhyming. It's very different from anything I've read recently and it's always nice to branch out and read new things. :)
| Gosia89 chapter 1 . 10/1/2013
It's a nice piece of writing. I found myself captivated by the words and the little plot, reading through the chapter with genuine interest. I felt somewhat disappointed when I reached the last paragraph, I found myself wanting more. So, you did good job with this short story.
Your writing style. I have only praise for you here. I'm usually an enemy of using present tense in fantasy stories, but in your short piece it fitted very well, wasn't distracting and helped create the mysterious, faiy-tale feel about the story.
The descriptions were fine: their lenght was not too long, not too short - they didn't stall the pacing, but were enough to imagine a scenery without any gaps.
The general style and vocabulary are somewhat archaic and they nicely convey the poetic atmosphere of the scene.
Overall, good job on the writing style.
As for the plot, it was rather predictable from the first paragraph, but it's excuseable as it's a short piece showing one piece, not a 10-book fantasy series.
I really liked the idea of conversation with the Moon. I've never encountered such theme before, it was a great way to show a "relationship" between werewolves and the Moon.
That was a nice short story, thumbs up!
| skullszeyes chapter 1 . 10/1/2013
Wow. This was amazing. I liked it a lot. :) Very soulful and beautiful with each sentence that goes by, you've done a great job.
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 9/28/2013
from the Roadhouse
Oh, how cool! I liked this. It's always fun to see authors on FP push the boundaries of traditional writing. I feel like it doesn't happen near as often as it should since this is such a big playground for this sort of thing. I just appreciate this existing, haha. Anyway, from a prose poetry standpoint I think you did pretty great sticking with a rhyme scheme, I bet it was a challenge too, finding the right words to end with, etc. so I admire the work that went into this on a writing poetry level, too.
I think the only place where the wording didn't sound like it meshed as well together, more of cadence purposes than rhyming purposes, were the lines: "But I do it for my Moon, and I show her I'm ready. The wind, it moves, around me, it churns. Faster and faster until my skin burns." If I may, I'd like to suggest instead: "But I do it for my Moon, and I show her I'm ready. The wind moves around me, it churns and it churns, faster and faster until my skin burns." I'm suggesting this mostly for the cadence and the way it's read meter-wise, hope that sort of makes sense. How it originally reads is a little too choppy for my taste, I think the period and the comma after "the wind" in the second sentence kind of sets things stilted instead of smooth.
Anyway, beyond that tiny section, this was overall really good, and all of it's cool. The subject matter is wonderful, I really liked how you developed the story and how it went from being about an animal in the forest to clearly implications of werewolves and werewolf hunters. That was a great way to reveal more detail as the story continued and the subject matter fit the situation of the narrative technique, I think. It makes sense to me that a werewolf's mind would not be reflecting really traditional narrative, you know? There's so much going on there that I think on a psychological level makes total sense to kind of portray the mind of a wolf as being different from that as an ordinary human. This definitely made me curious to check out Solitude's Howl!
| ArcadianCrown chapter 1 . 9/27/2013
I've never really read anything on here with a rhyme scheme, certainly not a story, so this was pretty new to me. I think it worked really well here, with the chase scene and the focus on the moon it made it very poetic and it was appropriate for the length. Anything longer may have sounded a little over the top or dull, but I think you got the length for this just about perfect.
You handled the pacing really well, and the imagery you used was fantastic, especially with the wind as an aid. The only part I felt was a little jumbled and rushed was when the boy managed to track the wolf- I wasn't quite sure how it made the wolf "foolish" for he/she managed not to howl. That's really just me nit-picking though.
Grammatically speaking, pretty sure this was fault free and your spelling and such was perfect. The rhythm of some of your rhymes were a little off, upsetting the pace of the poem-feel, but since this is a story rather than a poem I think you got away with it.
Overall a very enjoyable and clean read and some of your imagery was absolutely stunning :)
| Leigh Aldridge chapter 1 . 9/26/2013
Not a fan of anything rhyming, but good concept :)