Reviews for Watched
MorganWriter18 chapter 2 . 1/24/2014
The way you described the town and the whole encounter with Spencer made it seem real. You are very good with detail. A piece of advice I can give is that maybe when you said "this small town of Otterbrook Township had a community college I could enroll in in the fall" you should have said something more like "this small town of Otterbrook Township had a community college. I could enroll in the fall." I say this because I'm fairly certain that it is not grammatically correct to repeat a word directly after it is said the first time; "in in." There is a chance that I am wrong. Perhaps you should look it up or get a second opinion just to be sure but when I used to do that spell check always told me it was wrong. I also believe that it is acceptable to simply use a comma; "in, in" but, once again, I'm not 100% sure. I know that my being uncertain probably makes this review feel unhelpful but I hope that you will look into it and find out if I am right or not. I'd do it myself but... well, I'm feeling lazy at the moment. Lol. Anyway, all in all I enjoyed the chapter very much. I look forward to reading the next one once it is posted. :-)
Android chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
I'm really interested to see how this plays out. These are my favorite types of stories. With the POV of the "villian"
MorganWriter18 chapter 1 . 12/5/2013
Wow! Great detail, and I think you did a very good job of portraying a creepy and seemingly dangerous stalker. So far I've only read the prologue but I look forward to reading more! I've actually thought of writing a story with the same sort of theme, myself. I like the way you think!
LadyRavenwing chapter 1 . 11/2/2013
This has sort of a creepy feel to it, especially the porcelain doll imagery. Interesting start for what could be an intriguing piece.
whatdotheydream chapter 1 . 10/31/2013
Creepy! Your writing style is beautiful, and you get the sick personality of the stalker across fantastically. It gave me shivers! I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight, lol. You should definitely continue.
RM Jamieson chapter 1 . 10/30/2013
Hi Ashley-

I haven't reviewed on this site in a long time, but I think you've only posted a prologue so far? Correct me if I'm wrong lol. But I'll base my comments on the prologue.

You definitely have a way with descriptions. I loved the whole first paragraph. I like reading something like this: It is so common to read descriptions about the physical features of a woman, but it is always refreshing to have it told in a new way, like you did. Be mindful of the last line in the first paragraph though. Technically she would be a large porcelain doll, not a little one. That's me being picky, lol, but I figure I'd put my two cents in.

I would suggest trying to amp up the creepiness of this particular narrator. I know he has creepy intentions, but they only really come to life in the last sentence, which makes it feel like he is not being honest- which is awkward in first person. Maybe experiment with some other creepy thoughts? I love the line about lifting her eye lid- more moments like that would really make this character come to life!

Hope some of this was helpful )
Keep up the great work!