|Reviews for Simon|
| Uncivilized chapter 1 . 11/2/2013
I'm going to treat this as if it weren't actually experiences because it would make me too uncomfortable to properly respond to your work other to just say "oh my, please accept my condolences".
I think in a work of poetry you could absolutely have repeating words that are catchy or work well within your structure. The phase "... in the locker room that day" doesn't apply; it felt forced and it contained too many words to be properly integrated multiple times and still be catchy or flow well with the rest of the verse.
Other than that it was well done; it captured the helplessness that I imagine would be experienced in this situation. Well done.