This is a very intersting story, and I can't wait to see how things will happen later in the story. The flashbacks are a good way of showing us more about the characters, and both Susan and LouAnne characterized quite well throughout the story as well.

As far as grammatical errors, I didn't notice any, so nothing to worry about there. Theremay be some that I didn't notice, but nothing that would make it a challenge to read.

All in all, I like the story so far, and I can't wait for more!