|Reviews for Wings|
| Bob Evans chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
You certainly have a flare for starting things right in the middle of the action. And that's a good thing. Sometimes authors can be too focused on action and battle sequences to tell a story, but this is most definitely not a problem for you.
The characterization is spot on. I don't feel like I'm being lectured as the protagonist reflects on the setting and context of the war. The details and history flow smoothly with the prose, creating a beautiful amalgamation of scene, emotion, and conflict, with dashes of backstory mixed in. Furthermore, you keep the details of the past just light enough to grab hold of my curiosity and leave me dying for more.
Make sure you keep using more and more flowery, descriptive details. This world sounds, by nature, very colorful and vivid. Now that we've been introduced, make sure the prose reflects as such. You've got an amazing world coming to life; don't slouch in describing it to us.
All I can say now is press on. I. Want. More.
| 14omoon chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
I like the subject and feel of the story, it makes me want to read more and find out more about the rivalry between the sentitals and the hood, the back story of the main character his father and his mother, and so much more! I also like where the story is going, the only thing I wish you elaborated more on was how Jeremy reacted to the death of his father. I'm not saying what you written was bad, the feeling of that paragraph was really nonchalant and whatever, unless thatis what you were going for. I just wanted to feel more of a emotional reaction from Jeremy concerning that is all.