For a oneshot that covers the material that could be used to write a whole novel, I really liked this. I think you used a good amount of writing conventions to make this feel as though it wasn't an outline, but actually a full fledged oneshot. I admire you for that, as it is something that I am totally incapable of doing :P I also like how you didn't reveal his name until the very end, although me being the moron that I am, thought that Damien was Derek, and I was confused with the ending for a while, because hey, similar names!
Either way, I liked this, good work :)