Reviews for Disarray
Lissette Lackey chapter 1 . 12/5/2013
I love Brandon already, that little hunk. *pinches his cheeks* I also felt for Hollie and her want to get to know Sophie better. It's clear she wants so badly to be there for her step-sister, but finds herself falling into Brandon's shadow time and time again. (Even though he's gone now :[ )

I really like Lia as well - especially when she made that opening for Hollie to do Sophie's nails. That was very sweet of her and it charmed me immediately.

And, oh man! The bathroom scene. I could feel the tension! It's was quite scary, especially since Sophie was adamant that something was in the tub - but only in the mirror! I applaud Sophie for being as calm as she was cause I would have been flipping the heck out. And then, poof! She's gone. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

The only thing I would recommend changing is Hollie's inconsistency with Natalia/Lia's name at first. If she refers to Natalia as Lia, stick to that nickname in the narrative. Otherwise, it may confuse new readers as they might think 'Lia' and 'Natalia' are two different characters.

But yay! I'm so excited. Write swiftly! :)