Reviews for Harem Bet
dmasterxd chapter 4 . 9/13/2014
Lol only four chapters in and Hiromu is already getting called Harem kid, priceless! Also part with Utahime and her spiky bass was hilarious. I kinda like her. But the real question is how long will Maki stay away for? Awesome job!
dmasterxd chapter 3 . 9/13/2014
Oh man, I missed this story. And it's still freaking hilarious (Maka lol). Hiromu even has to get the take girls to lake him. and eventually he's probably gonna come across a yandere. Poor guy's gonna get killed. Awesome chapter!
Megami-hime chapter 10 . 2/10/2014
Wow. I can't believe it. It ended up...with MY character. I feel so honoured, thank you so much!

So this story has come to an end. It's been a great ride, I definitely enjoyed it!

You've balanced out the comedy and drama so very well. And that, my friend, deserves a round of applause. Not many can achieve that.

A sequel? Oh yes. I want to see how the other characters are doing, and why the hell did Mai start this in the first place. I would like Serene to stay as at least the main love interest, but if the poll suggests otherwise, not much I can do about that. And I really do want to see the stories of the other girls. So if you have to do some weird three-way or something, fine by me, as long as it's written well.
ShatteredFallenAngel chapter 9 . 1/31/2014
Whoa dramatic chapter. (I didn't even tell you Kuro's personality but you nailed him...)
Poor Hiromu...
Megami-hime chapter 9 . 1/31/2014
Great chapter! And you did it more or less the same to my idea, so good job!

I thought that the singing part took a little too much space tough, could you turn it into a paragraph instead?

Also, I know that I said you could do whatever you want with her now, but eh, changed my mind. So after some time, Hiromu finally gets her to forgive him and understand the situation, and she starts to help him clean up the mess that the bet has made.

I'll see you next time!
ShatteredFallenAngel chapter 8 . 1/29/2014
Really awesome this. The first story I've read on Fictionpress and it's ace. Here's a character.

Name: Akari Kurenai
Age: 16
School Occupation: Singer in the music club
Personality: She is friendly and naive as well as optimistic, seeing the good in every one. She loves singing and can be usually found with her best friend Kuro in the music room.
Appearance: She has long red hair with ruby red eyes and porcelain skin with a small but slender figure. She usually wears a red hair clip or bow in her hair.

By the way it'll be hard to get her to like him as she is oblivious to advances and sees everyone as a friend while her friend Kuro (is a boy) has a crush on her and is not giving her up to Hiromu without a fight!
Megami-hime chapter 8 . 1/28/2014
Oh wow! You got my character almost perfectly right! (A bit too physically aggressive, but nothing else.) Her cold exterior, the loner's all great!

Your chapters may be short, but they're great! This was a great chapter, keep it up! I wish you luck. And as long as they're good and you update consistently (unlike me, for example), I don't care about the length.

May the stars shine down upon you at the end of your journey!
Megami-hime chapter 7 . 1/28/2014
This is getting pretty interesting! Romance Comedy and now a bit of Drama, I like this story, so keep it up!

Name: Serene Akame
Age: 17
School Occupation: Student Council President
Personality: Calm, cold, and distrustful. She barely trusts anyone, keeping herself inside a metaphorical shell of ice, staying away from everyone. She's a loner who secretly wants friends, but the combination of her low social skills and her distrust of everyone obstructs that wish. She's quite popular, but everyone who tried to get close to her failed miserably. She's also pretty snarky.
Appearance: Long black hair tied as a ponytail that reached her waist, and red eyes.

For the plot, Hiromu actually genuinely tries to her, not because of the bet, but for actual friendship (and maybe even attraction), and while she is understandably quite suspicious of him, after quite some time she warms up to him, may be having some feelings of her own...until she hears about the bet, and is disgusted that he's playing with the feelings of so many girls just for greed, and kicks him in the balls, and cuts all ties with him. After that, you can do what you want.
sonicmaster102 chapter 7 . 1/22/2014
I love this chapter!
I really like the way you used my character Amu! That was dead on what I thought about her. I couldn't stop laughing!
Good job amigo! This was awesome!

I also understand why these chapters are so short though. These chapters are short because if it took you one hour to write them, you must be thinking about a real Anime like this right? An Anime tv show usually consists of a max of 30 minutes per episode (in your case chapter) unless it's a short or a premier right? I should have acknowledged that from the beginning.
I have one more character you can try later, If you want to.

Name: Yuki Akiko
Age: 16
School Occupation: Cheer leading
Personality: Bubbly and Upbeat; nice to pretty much anyone
Appearance: Honey colored hair with braids, rosy cheeks
sonicmaster102 chapter 6 . 1/21/2014
I have to say for a show this is astoundingly good. I just think that it should be longer, because I'm a fast reader, and I could explain what happened in less that 5 minutes to one of my friends.
I like the way that Hiromu blew it, that makes it a lot more interesting.
Also I have a character:

Amu Akemi
Age: 17
School Occupation:
Personality: Really shy and low self esteem
Appearance: Long green hair with a blue bow, blue eyes. Always rushing.
B. J. Williams chapter 6 . 1/13/2014
I do like the story so far, but there are some criticisms you need to take note:
One thing I was meaning to tell you, is to work on the titles of each of the chapters.
Some of the Title names don't flow well.
I, also, forgot where I left off. It would be easier if you would have the title names where it says... Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, etc.
Finally, I do recommend making the chapters longer. The section that is the most guilty was in Chapter 5 in your description with the date with Gracia. (It only had two lines.)
Please, expand on that date; tell more on what happened.
These are suggestions.
Challenge XD chapter 5 . 1/3/2014
Name: Emily McConsiel

Age: 18

school occupation: fencing

personality: to be pretty short, a yandere

appearance: short haired, wavy blond, has black eyes. And always carrying a fencing sword.

Name: Nikki Antaransa

age: 16

school occupation: cosplay club?

Personality: a tomboyish girl, a complete otaku and not afraid to show it, is very fond of yaoi.

Appearance: a Filipino. Light colored tan, short black hair. Average height. Black eyes.
This is like a challenge game XD chapter 5 . 1/3/2014
This like a game, where the reviewer write the girl ( the challenge) and the author (the real player) finds away to solve the puzzle (to woe the girl). awesome!
B. J. Williams chapter 3 . 12/15/2013
So far, I'm seeing the story as funny and witty. I will watch and see how this story flows.
How about we add a challenge for Hiromu Azakawa:
Girl - Kimiko "Gracia" Otomo
Class - Second Year (17)
Occupation - Leader of the School's Catholic Club
Personality - A strong-willed individual with a strong religious faith in Catholicism. It is possible to woo her, but it will take a lot of work and patience. In addition, she is a very loyal person and is forgiving but it has it's limits. Rarely angry.
(Most guys give up on trying to make her their girlfriend because they lack patience or they're not willing to put in any effort.)
Appearance - Short black hair, jade colored eyes, usually wears a simple robe and sash (besides the school uniform)
tecnicalKnockout chapter 3 . 12/14/2013
o_o*sweat drop* this kid is gonna die ... DON'T DO IT HIRO! what about the girls that have boyfriends? what about teh girls that have girlfriends? what about the girls that are just bat shit crazy? what about you? episode 3 and shits already hitting the fan. we should go find Mrs im-too-rich and demand a raise and a down payment on this man
$ 11,119 wont count for stick when hes in intensive care with 3rd degree burns over 80% of his body. because some -if-i-cant-have-you-no-one-will fem fatal went at him with a can of hair spray and a lighter o_o
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