Reviews for Melamin (私の愛)
Sy chapter 10 . 11h
OH... Oh... Oh.
Now I see why those lights entered their bodies at different areas, well sans Harumi which foreshadowed what ends her instead haha rip
Goodness, this was a surprise read!

Ok ok I am ticking my guess list, so what ended up becoming true is Kensui's mysterious elven lineage and the Elven Star being some kinda superpower.
What I didn't expect; Harumi being dead /this/ early (tho that explains why you didn't give her much character or development) and the goblins being killed off right on the spot, hot damn Kensui.
Then again, he /does/ have trauma of people around him dying, but this time it happens in front of him, so I guess that warrants even more therapy.

This story feels so anime, like it went from slice-of-life, to harem, to isekai, to shounen in the span of 10 chapters, props to you!

Well now that it has been established that Kensui can transform into an elf, the friends are in-the-know of what's happening and they've witnessed a murder, I am guessing the tone of the story will shift in a bit! Intriguing!

Aaaaa I have worktrip starting tomorrow, pray I have wifi so I can read the next chapter!
Sy chapter 9 . 8/8
Omg. It's only a month and Sakura and Astald went not just to third base, but home run? Oof.
Also I am kind of confused on that spell(?) he says; Wanwa Rina? Not sure what that does, and why they're in skimpy clothes, but things like these fly over my head and I usually have difficulty connecting subtle clues anyway, so I'll move on and focus on the core topic of the chapter xD

DUEL OF MATRIMONY! Complete with Clothing Damage trope in play! Just Kalina being a chessmaster in these situations is kinda cool and I respect her about that, and at the same time, she was also being genuine regarding her reason for liking Kensui, so it's really fascinating seeing her this driven to push Mela's and Kensui's relationship deeper.

I had no diea what consummate as a word means but I'm glad wordweb explains it hahaha. Still, I'm glad they reunited! And then directly teleported to his friends, while Mela is still almost topless from those fights, and they are kissing. Oh boy, time to explain the entire thing, huh Kensui.

Aaaa I plan to catch up more chapters, but I have some work I need to finish! I'll probably stay up all night just tryna finish this work and if I managed to do it, then I'll continue the next chapter as a reward to myself!

Thank you for writing this, it's such a fun and intriguing journey so far!
Sy chapter 8 . 8/7
AHA! I CALLED IT! OHMYGOD.
Okay, so you started this chapter with Astald noticing a peculiar ring, and I was immediately like OH THIS IS THE ITEM that's gonna be extremely important later, and then when I reached the end of the chapter, I outwardly gasped so loud, oh my god! I expected /importance/ but not FORMER ROYAL FAMILY CREST.
This opens up A CRAPTON of possibilities in my head omg, I'm having fun just playing with these different thoughts, like are the Kusinagis a part of that family, were their ancestors one of the royal elven family, did they had to flee to the human world or something, did one of their ancestors stole the ring from an elf, are there elves secretly living in the human world already, and a dozen other things just jumping from one point to another in my head hahahaha! I mean, I have no context, so I can't really base any of my assumptions to anything.
Then again there's that Elven Star light that merged itselves into Kensui and co, I wonder if it has anything to do with the ring. Maybe the ring is just one part of the whole thing. Maybe each of those kids had different crests that connect to them to SOME things in Eldamar, I don't know lmao

Talk about Eldamar! Kalina! Is this gonna be the start of the Eldamar arc where he's gonna stay in this realm and learn of their culture and teachings and possibly combat lmao, idk I'm lowkey worried because Kalina transported him right smack on the frickin CLIFF of eternal broken bones, and thinking if its foreshadowing something is... brrr. Scary. Good luck on whatever the future holds for you, Kensui.

However, by standing on that cliff, he also saw the beauty that is Eldamar. I feel like that's gonna be symbolic for something later. Scary cliff, then pretty elven atmosphere. Hmm. I also like that Kensui's firsth thought upon seeing it at first sight is wondering why tf did Mela want to stay with him. That single line of thought already tells a lot of how he cares for her, haha. Oh, to be young and in love lmao.

I also like that Astald dropped by just to say "heehoo it is my destiny to marry the princess bc I'm a noble huehue" and like a scene later, he found out the Kusinagi family might also probably be noble lmfao, the irony.

I am genuinely questioning whether Kalina really intended to start a love triangle thing, considering she also supports Mela's relationship with Kensui. Hmm, oh well. I'll just see it as healthy competition for now to win the dude's heart, haha. Poor Harumi getting left behind though.

My prediction from all the chapters so far is, all these 4 kids will be brought in Eldamar for some reason(probably regarding the Elven Star, idk), and then Astald will be the traitor/big bad, though I'm not sure if there are bigger forces in play in the future so I'll keep that thought to the side for now. There might be some kind of kidnapping and a trade, a need for higher power to defeat something, aaaand most likely some sort of sacrifice(s?). I have absolutely no bases to connect these final three randomass predictions to, it's just a feeling haha.

Either way! ELDAMAR ARC, LET'S GOOOOO
Sy chapter 7 . 8/6
My heartburn settled for tonight, so I can FINALLY read in peace! And oh my goodness, THIS IS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER SO FAR! I absolutely ADORE how you weave your way to explain certain KEY important plot points! Ohmygosh, I don't know how the original went, but I must also thank your beta for convincing you to rewrite, it's great, everything is THERE! The clues! The hook! The possibilities! I'm already imagining what would happen for SEVERAL sideplots as I read this... mygod.

Okokok so! Lemme list my thought process as I read this.
First of all, you BAITED me with this title, how dare you! xD The WAY you made the boys connect and understand what love meant, which automatically became the KEY for Kensui to understand his own feelings for Mela is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. Hook, line and sinker. Just. The fact that Kensui kiss him and Satomu immediately DECKED him in the face was so Genius. God, the flow of this. HNG. AND they get closer and bonded because of it, which is again KEY for Kensui to explain Mela's situation to his most trusted bro. THIS WRITING. I can't express enough how happy it made me, omg.

Ok, second point is Sakura!
The way you introduced her the first time, I thought she's just gonna be a side character, like one of those NPCs with no portraits, which made me hope otherwise because I'm those weirdos who tend to support the side characters lol. AND THIS DEVELOPMENT. WITH "ARTHUR". IS GREAT and I have already formed like 3 different speculations from their interaction alone hahaha.

ASTALD being ALLIES with the enEMIES THO! I! I'm disappointed I didn't expect that, I had too much hope on him, Astald why. Okay but the WHY is more intriguing to me to question so I appreciate this development and I will shut up before I start going off track xD

Uhh what else, I remember I have 4 points...
OH! THE ELVEN STAR!
THE LIGHTS THAT ENTERED THEIR BODIES! I'm not fully sure what that means yet but I'm more curious why she didn't sense it from Kensui, which is probably a hint I missed from previous chapters gahhh

Either way, splendid job on this chapter! I adore it.
I WANT TO CONTINUE READING ONE MORE CHAPTER but it's nearly 4am and I have to pass out hhhh
However, please understand that reading this completely overturn my foul mood from idk 6 hours of heartburn suffering, so thank you so much! 3
Sy chapter 6 . 8/4
Gotta give credit to Harumi for running into the couple and starts tailing them with admirable determination, haha.

I was worried for a second because Harumi heard Mela said she'd be honored to meet Kensui's sister, because just 2 lines before, Mela outwardly said she's a princess. But since Harumi chose to worry about the sister part rather than the princess part, I can only assume she missed to hear the previous lines, phew.

Ah! The classic elevator-got-stuck talk!
I can see that you needed them to talk and connect at this point, and some parts felt a little rushed, but the intent works. For instance, I'm glad to learn BOTH of their pasts.
Good god, Mela! Your training! Holy crap! The fall thing sounds terrifying, how'd you come up with this? The trials to forge a princess sounds like hellscape, but Mela takes it in stride since it's the norm there, probably. Us humans can only gape at such an experience... Brr. -Wait, does that mean Kalina had to undergo the same thing as well? Oof.
Kensui's story, though... That must've hit hard. Parents dying on your birthday is an overdone cliche past for main characters, but I get sad every time, oof :'( Now I see the guilt he's been harboring quietly exploded when he talked about it, I'm starting to think Mela might be one of the first few people he talked about it fully with. I'm unsure if his friends knew the full story, but I'm certain it must be hard for him to recall such a dreadful thing every time he has to bring it up. Hang in there, kiddo.

And of course, after sharing such important parts of themselves to one another, intimacy takes place. Nice.

Oh! I was fairly surprised to learned there's supernatural forces at play regarding the elevator! And was more surprised to read Kalina and the royal parents were the ones to blame! Or rather, thank for! Hahahah! They're right though, they needed to do something to get those two to open up since Mela is too polite while Kensui is too closed up. It worked well, good job family.

Oh, also that ending though!
Now it makes sense to me why Satomu blushed that one time the boys were talking before!
Poor Harumi, your number of rivals increased.
Oh, but this means Satomu and Ushio aren't together like I assumed a few chapters ago! How surprising!
Also thanks to this chapter, I finally recalled that Satomu was the one who played cupid for the both of them. Hmm, I wonder why. Well, I'm sure I'll learn soon!

Damn Kensui, what did you do in your past life to have gained so many love interests? You may have a tough past, but you're loved by the people around you. ;v;

There's so much interesting surprises in this chapter, I enjoyed it! Can't wait to read the next one tomorrow!
Sy chapter 5 . 8/4
You know what I find interesting every time I read a new chapter? When you point out the difference of human and elven culture.
For this chapter, it's about school! Or to be exact, education. The variable is their age difference. So of course school is necessary for humans with low lifespan and not for the long-lived elves. It's pretty cool to read and I like it.

Okay but when Mela tries to smooth out the misunderstanding between the friends, I appreciate that they take the logical approach (mainly Ushio) and point certain things out, hahaha. It's also refreshing that they didn't buy the explanation fully. I just really appreciate that you're able to mix the humorous anime parts with the believable logical parts seamlessly without breaking any groundwork. It's a gift.

HARRY POTTER!
Okay, but I recalled you mentioning sometime earlier about how Mela reads Harry Potter and got to the house elves part and got understandably upset, haha!

My god, Harumi really wanted to know what their true relationship is, huh. I wish I know what started her feelings for him in the first place, and how they became a couple, and who confessed first. With her being this suspicious, she must like him a lot!

Oh! Kensui is finally ruminating! Thank goodness he's the type to question himself and his problems. Some harem protagonists are so bad, they wanted all the girls smh, so I respect Kensui for at least understanding he needs to come to a decision. Good on you, kid!
Also, the fact that he's warming up to Mela now; Adorable.
Sy chapter 4 . 8/3
AHH Kalina! I'm finally meeting her!
Haha I decided to read 2 chapters tonight because I missed 2 nights of reading! Should be 3 chapters including tonight, but I'm too sleepy hhh

Anyway, Kalina! What a strong first impression!
Also I forgot to mention this before, but I appreciate the elves' spells incantation, it sounds really cool! I also like that you mentioned what Mela's name meant in elven language.
Is Melamin, the title, based on her full name?

Kalina as a character adds spice in their relationship, and as I expected, of course she would like the protagonist too hahaha. What I didn't expect was she likes him romantically! Goodness, what do these elves see in him, hahaha! This chapter focuses on her introduction and how her dynamic works with the couple and I think the way you established it was great!

Also I was under the impression that Mela couldn't take the two goblins, but after seeing her single-handedly take down this ogre, my thought changed that maybe she /could/ take them, she just didn't have a chance to, considering Lord Astald came out of nowhere to lend his aid, hahaha.

Overall, funny chapter! Can't wait to see what's in store next!
Guest chapter 3 . 8/3
An amusement park chapter! With a battle at that! Nice!
The small tease of /something/ afoot with the goblins needing to kidnap someone is intriguing~!
At first I thought they were after Harumi, considering they tried to attack Kensui's box first and even threw her off the box, which fascinates me because I'm still wondering what those lights that entered the kids' bodies in the very first chapter meant. But once Mela showed up, my assumption changed into them wanting to kidnap her instead, since they seem to know her, which makes more sense considering her royal lineage. I don't know, I'll just have to see, haha.

Also I was quite surprised to learn the pink-haired meganekko girl and the redhead artist is an item! Persumably.

The introduction of Lord Astald! His appearance surprised me but was welcomed by the circumstance, because Mela doesn't seem like she can handle two goblins at the same time. I'm more interested in the fact that he has no idea she's married now, which means her parents probably hasn't sent word in their realm of their daughter's married status, WHICH MEANS something is bound to happen soon with that information being withheld, hahah. Still, I suppose with Kensui having Harumi who's into him, Mela having Lord Astald who seems to like her balances things out, with the usual anime love triangle logic. I'm excited to read the development of this!
Sy chapter 2 . 7/30
What a surprise! Marriage to an elven princess!
I had an inkling from that mysterious prologue!
Poor Kensui, though he's handling it far better than I expected him to! Perhaps due to how chill he is hahaha.
Also, a moment of silence for his sister who had to support both him and herself u_u

I quite like the way you peppered in the elven culture and traditions in this chapter! The visit from the royal parents also cleared a lot of things!
Now reality sets in, and his friends came hahaha
Can't wait to see how Kensui will handle this tomorrow!
Sy chapter 1 . 7/29
I've just finished the 1st chapter and I'm intrigued! This is very well-written. You threaded the words together so clearly, I can see it in my mind's eye. Now that's skill.

I also enjoyed the characters so far! I thought the main character would be the runner girl since she was introduced first, and I was pleasantly surprised to read that Kensui took the stage. Some of this dialogues are so funny, like his jokes with the bullies, that made me smile at 3am hahaha. He sounds like a good character.

ALSO THAT GIRL AT THE END. Mela? I'm so curious of her now! Will definitely read more in another night! One night per chapter D What a cliffhanger!

Thank you for writing this and also for sharing this with me! Can't wait to find out more about this story!
A Ghost chapter 1 . 7/20/2018
Miles. For goodness sake. It's been a very long time. I never thought to tell you this because I didn't want to seem rude. But seriously. It's been too damn long. And I can't stand to stay quiet about this matter. Not anymore.

Nightcore isn't a band.
Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 18 . 4/8/2017
No comment on the author's note. And I have a long reading list, so please forgive me if I don't reread the story.
Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 17 . 4/8/2017
This came a little too late, and seemed more like a hasty attempt to cover up the problems and flaws with the story. It's like you realized that the points I raised before I ever wrote them, and then quickly tried to think of a way to address them. Oh yeah, Astald has a noble goal, but he's been corrupted by Huine and thus his means and execution were perverted by those darkness.

Funnily enough Huine didn't seem like a bad god to me, sparing Kensui and the others, whereas Astald went around murdering people. Uh...okay.

Still, this is a good prequel, and I like the first part. The second part was just...lame. The rock worms came out of nowhere, i mean they never appeared in the main story. And he just listened to some random guy, Greivor, on accepting the power of the gods without any skepticism. Are you willing to sell your soul? Yeah, he is, but that doesn't mean he's stupid enough to just accept any damned offer from a guy out of nowhere and drink an unknown fluid?!

You would think he would be less naive and trusting of people after the incident with the elf king and whatnot.

I do like the romance between Astald and Alasse. I wish that could have been developed a lot more. It was good. It would actually have made a great story in of itself. What a waste, but there was lots of great potential there that would have surpassed the main story and made Astald's fall all the more tragic.
Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 16 . 4/8/2017
...

I kind of understand what you're going for, but it was still cringeworthy to read all the people shouting their support at the end. Well, it happens all the time in anime, so I'll give you a pass on that. And I kind of understand why Astald made the pact with the chaos god without realizing who he is, but I stand by what I said when I said that chaos god came out of nowhere.

Sealed before time itself? By who? And if that's the case, why would the elves know about it?

The fight scene was...a bit weird. That's just me not liking one-sided fight scenes. And then Melamin and Kensui pulls that golden beam out of their ass and obliterate a god. Yeah, a god that existed before time itself, apparently. Most people will call bullshit on this, but whatever. The whole drama thing was not needed, in my opinion. And Huine deciding to suddenly...uh, spare Kensui's life was just so random. "Go back and spend whatever little time you have with your family." That was kind of funny, coming from a dark, chaos god who's supposed to destroy the world. But whatever, we need Kensui to be alive to pull that BS stunt at the very end.

Maybe I'm still unable to come to terms with the sudden change in genre, which turned from romantic comedy into an action series (like Magister Negi or whatever you call that series), but I can't say I like the sudden switch. It just felt incoherent, inconsistent, like two completely, different separate stories haphazardly sewn and joined together. For the majority of the first part, the Elven Star was ignored in favor of romance, and then suddenly it becomes this pivotal piece, and the antisocial Kensui suddenly becomes a guy who can obliterate gods with their wives.

One thing I'll say though - I love happy endings. So yay. I felt good at the end when I saw the happy ending, so you did well there. May everyone be happy!

And damn...bring Harumi back to life? That was so naive. Countless people die everyday. You might as well ask the Elven Star to bring all of them back to life.
Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 15 . 4/8/2017
One ridiculous thing after another...I'm sorry.

Okay, I get that you're trying to make Astald a deeper, more multi-dimensional character by giving him noble goals and whatnot, but seriously, you just made his character inconsistent and nonsensical. Yes, the goals are truly noble, but it's hard to sympathize with him and believe him when he goes all "I'm going to be king in order to save the drow!" when he murders left and right, kills the poor dude who annulled the marriage the previous chapter all because he...uh "outlived his usefulness", played around with Sakura's feelings, make cruel comments like killing Melamin after marrying her and dumping her on Kensui's grave, etc. etc. No, if someone has a noble goal, why the hell is he acting like a villain and committing all those atrocities? It's unbelievable as U.D. from Deathtopia when the author suddenly did a 180 and attempted to justify his cruelty (he wants to save Tokyo from whatever, but who and what exactly is he saving when he goes around murdering people in the first place?!).

It just doesn't work that way. I'm sorry to say, but it really doesn't. If you wanted him to have a more noble goal and be more sympathetic, you need to have his actions be more aligned with that, not have him act like the cliched, typical evil cruel villain for the majority of the story, only to do a 180 and reveal his so-called noble intentions. Right now, I'm more inclined to think that he's lying through his teeth (and why not? He's been lying throughout the whole story) than sympathize with him.

That's just me though.

And the icing of the cake was when he turns into the Dark God of Chaos, Huine. Would a person with the noble goal of saving the Drow do that? Absolutely not. It just feels more like you forced a RPG trope into here - we killed the final boss! No, whoops, that wasn't the true villain, we have the real final boss showing up now! It just...doesn't make sense.

The positive side is that, well, you have a good fight scene, and you at least tried to add more dimensions to an otherwise flat and shallow villain. The execution wasn't exactly good to say the least, but your efforts are laudable.
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