I really liked the Bad Wolf concept of this story. It’s always good to see fairy tales rewritten with a twist – and this twist was great. I also liked the medieval-ish way you wrote it (that plus the dire wolf reminded me of Game of Thrones. I love Game of Thrones.)
I’d really like you to write more – hoping really – of this sort of story. Also, hope you did well on that contest :)

A very original idea. I don't think anyone could've come up with it except you. I enjoyed how you built a world for this villain. I especially liked Zephyr's character. If this is the same wolf that appears in the Three Little Pigs then does Zephyr have something to do with the wolf's ability to blow an entire house down? That's what I thought when you first mentioned him. The plot twists were fantastic. Is the daughter going to be little red riding hood? This story, if you were to keep writing, could go in so many different directions. Well done.

Let's say I never expected the story to have such an end. You did mentioned a wolf in the summary and I assumed it's going to be the one Stephen was off to catch. So you pretty much nailed the plot twists in this one.

However I'm afraid that none of the characters catched my interest (maybe Lord Hastling and Zephyr; the first one was kinda amusing and I think I have a thing for brats or at least brat-like spirits). I can't deny the development Stephen had, as it felt real, but I didn't feel sorry for his death (not sure why, it's an odd feeling). It'd be interesting though to see if you have something else stored for us with this concept.

So keep rocking and good luck in the contest!

P.S. I don't know if it okay or not, but I burst out laughing with the last line. It was quite the vivid imagery XD

Very nice work, Augie. I love the way you've justified the Big Bad Wolf's traditionally somewhat abstract powerset through this retelling. The huff-and-puff never really made much sense, but now it totally does with the addition of Zephyr.

You've also done an excellent job of capturing Stephen's development from a normal man with normal wants and urges into the being that would be the evil Wolf of legend. It's a remarkable bit of character development for such a short story.

I've only got two criticisms: One, the situation at the end surrounding Death's bargain seems like it's missing something. Death helps Stephen return to life to eventually to take on Rosette's daughter, but for some reason Stephen can't get his revenge on Rosette. Death makes it clear that Rosette will be hers soon enough, but Stephen is going to be in the body of wolf straight away. Why can't he just go and attack her now, especially given how concerned Death and Zephyr are about her future daughter? A simple line about Rosette's magical protection or something like that would help with this discrepancy.

And two: there's no more story! I want to see what happens to this world! Please write some more of this tale. Rosette makes an excellent villain, and I want to see the eventual vicious villainous wolf versus evil witch-queen showdown. :D

Well done! I love supernatural meets real world! I really enjoyed reading this. It had a sense of mystery to it, but that could have just been me. I didn't see any typos or grammar issues, so I can't critique that. Over all, this was a well written story and it stayed under the word count. Enjoyable read!

Awesome! I love the integration of the supernatural world with the real. In an odd way, I'm reminded of the origins of Jack Frost in 'Rise of the Guardians' - I could see you building a team from this that could figure in many other tales.
That said, the 3000 word limit leaves this awfully bare - I hope you go back and expand it once the contest is past.

This is certainly one of the better stories I've read on this site so far. It is written well and is a very enjoyable read.